There are moments on the spiritual journey when faith feels like a whisper in the dark—a fragile echo rather than a roar. In such times, we often find ourselves wondering, “Where is God in all of this?” I’ve walked that valley. And if I had known then what I know now, when God says, “Be still and know that I am God,” I would have surrendered sooner.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I wrestled. I was anxious, stressed, and deeply discouraged because I couldn’t keep up the illusion of being the perpetually joyful, “blessed and highly favored” Christian I thought I was supposed to be. I closed my eyes to pray and felt nothing but disconnection. I couldn’t understand why others seemed to radiate peace while I drowned in despair.
Then I read a tweet from @Nxalati8 that struck a chord:
“Have you ever been out of prayers? Probably have prayed every prayer you can to get out of a situation until you didn’t know what to say to God anymore…”
Yes. That was me.
There were seasons I couldn’t pray. I sat in silence, simply acknowledging the presence of God. That silence became sacred. That stillness, my lifeline. It was in that emptiness that I truly began to understand that God never left me. Even when the world around me fell apart—when I was surrounded by darkness, under spiritual attack, walking through the valley of the shadow of death—God was still there. Watching. Guarding. Holding me back from the brink of madness and death.
Reading Iyanla Vanzant’s Value in the Valley helped me name what I was going through. Her words gave me language for the wilderness season, where light seems scarce but faith is being fortified.
The Turning Point
One of my first YouTube teachings
The turning point came when I accepted what fundamentalists often reject: my ancestral lineage and the gifts passed down to me. I embraced the tools of my healing—ritual, memory, prayer, and spiritual authority rooted not just in Christianity, but in the stories of those who walked before me. That’s when the light started to return.
Critics came for me. They still do. But Jesus said, “He who is not for us is against us.” And “If you’re not helping me gather, you’re scattering.” So I keep gathering—truth, wisdom, courage. I refuse to circle the same mountain again for the comfort of those who neither carry my burden nor walk my path.
Some people, like the Pharisees, are quick to write the rules and even quicker to abandon you when those same rules break your back. But I’ve found my rhythm in the silence. In the stillness. In the valley.
And in that quiet place, I’ve learned: God is near. The ancestors are present. And the journey—no matter how painful—is shaping something sacred in me.
Journal Prompt
When was the last time you felt God’s presence in your silence? What gifts or messages might be waiting for you in the valley?
Affirmation
Even in the darkness, I am divinely guided and protected. I am never alone.
Like most urban professional men, Victor considered himself a good husband. He worked hard to provide for his family. They lacked nothing. The children went to the best private schools, and he and his wife drove matching luxury SUVs with personalised number plates. Their palatial home in an exclusive cluster complex in the plush green northern suburb of Bryanston was exquisitely furnished and decorated.
He worked hard, so what if he occasionally fished in the pond? Exploiting eager, naive young junior auditors serving their articles at the firm gave him quite a thrill. It was one of the perks of the job—an unspoken agreement by the senior partners in the firm. It was considered to be an opportunity to relieve stress. The unwritten rule was, ‘Never get caught.’ The firm had a sexual harassment policy designed to protect employees. However, in truth, most senior male employees treated it like a suggestion. In private conversations, they exchanged tips on loopholes in the policy with laughter and conspiratorial whispers, secure in the knowledge the ‘boys’ club’ would support them if any of the juniors filed a sexual harassment case.
Victor was one of the best of an elite breed. These were men at the top of their game, deftly fencing their way through company politics to make senior partner, general manager, or managing director, depending on their industry, while working hard to make themselves indispensable.
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The unmatched ecstasy of sex was his drug of choice; the hotter and more illicit, the better. It kept him from losing it. It was all part of a game. There was the thrill of the chase; the more a woman resisted, the greater the sense of accomplishment when he finally had her writhing and moaning beneath him. So, what if the discarded and disgruntled ones called him a ‘Corporate Fuck Boy’. The truth was, they’d be back in a heartbeat if he gave them the slightest encouragement. He was that good, and worst of all, he knew it. Many of the naive young things he had bedded went on to date and marry other people, but a few still looked wistfully his way, hoping that one day he would ask them for a roll in the proverbial hay one more time. He was unmoved. For him, the thrill of the chase and the novelty of conquest was unmatched.
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His wife had some idea of his liaisons, but the number would have shocked her if she knew. She turned a blind eye, having resigned herself to being the good wife and mother, the one who was above reproach and lent respectability to his image when it counted.
So, from one year to the next, he rose in stature in the firm while preying on young, impressionable women who found themselves serving their articles under him. This year, as managing partner, he broke with tradition and insisted on meeting the new crop of junior auditors. Sure enough, one caught his eye at once. She was not his usual type. He liked them light-skinned and curvy, but there was something about this one. Tall and dark in complexion, her figure was akin to that of a greyhound—lean, lithe, and athletic. She had an endearing little gap between her front teeth when she smiled. She seemed shy, shifting uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze.
He asked Aviwe, the HR manager, her name. Xongotela Maluleke. He was intrigued. She had been top of her Accounting class at the University of Limpopo. A country girl, he thought. The firm had funded her studies. In the weeks after that, he paid her special attention, requesting that she bring him files, coffee, giving her special assignments that required her to be alone with him. He called her Xongi, pronouncing the X as “Shh.” She blushed endearingly when he complimented her. A month into her joining, he was no closer to getting the first bite of her cherry. He was not in a hurry; there were still a few of the girls who were willing to put out for him.
One day, Aviwe overheard a conversation in rapid-fire Setswana in the deserted break-out area. To her surprise, she saw Xongotela pacing agitatedly as she spoke. Aviwe, being Xhosa, spoke very little of the language, so she could not follow the conversation. She made a note to check on her. Later when they spoke, Xongotela explained that her Mum was a MoTswana and she had to deal with an issue at home, but it was all sorted out.
Xongotela continued to do the special assignments as requested by Jonathan. Aviwe tried to warn him to avoid being seen as obviously favouring her, but the warning was ignored. Xongotela seemed so innocent and stared uncomprehending at Aviwe when she tried to tactfully warn her not to spend too much time alone with Victor. She also tried to gently dissuade Victor from taking advantage of the country girl. He feigned innocence. He insisted he saw potential in the girl and wanted to groom her personally. “Yes,” Aviwe thought, ‘just like all the others.’ Sexual grooming was not just a function of childhood sexual abuse. Aviwe gave up in disgust. They were consenting adults after all.
The hunter in Jonathan was in full flight, and he would not be stopped from pursuing his prey. Xongotela, meanwhile, continued with her coy and endearing manner, while making every effort to be professional. She was a quick learner, very organised and efficient, and soon, she was trusted enough to be given a set of keys to Jonathan’s office, much to the chagrin of Janet, Jonathan’s PA.
Early one morning, Janet came in as usual, only to find Xongotela in the office. She was holding the brass Foo dog ornament that sat on Victor’s desk just as Janet appeared in the doorway. She seemed a little flustered, put the ornament down in its place, then took some files from the in-tray and hurried off to the open-plan office where she normally worked. Janet tried to tell Victor about the incident, but he dismissed it, saying he had asked her to come in early to look at the files he left in his tray.
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A couple of days later, they were working late, reviewing the financial reports for a noticeably big client who was listing one of their divisions on the New York Stock Exchange in a few weeks.
Xongotela brought Victor a tall black Americano as asked. She set the coffee down in front of him. He looked up and, smiling suggestively, reached out and touched her hand—a gentle, lingering touch. Xongotela froze, unsure what to do next. Victor gave her a winning smile, pleased by her reticence. He looked forward to preying on her, just as he had done with her other colleagues.
Over the next few days, Victor was pleased to see Xongotela giving him coy looks. For him, that meant he was close to the proverbial touchline. The team congregated at a nearby restaurant and bar for drinks on a Thursday evening. As the evening wore on, colleagues began to leave, some going straight home. A few senior partners left early, and their ‘marks,’ the junior auditors they were sleeping with, left a few minutes later to join them in the parking lot.
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Victor fell back on a trick that had served him well over the years with the tougher ‘marks’. He pretended to be too drunk to drive and asked Xongotela to drive him to his ‘friend’s place’ to sleep it off. This worked on the young girls who were often keen to drive his sleek BMW Seven Series. Xongotela agreed. Victor put on one of the best performances of his career, pretending to be drunk, even leaning on her as they went to his car. A couple of the senior partners who remained gave each other knowing looks. They had seen this performance before; they had occasionally tried it themselves, but no one did it as well as Victor.
Victor lolled in the passenger seat. His pulse raced as Xongotela leaned over to fasten his seat belt. She selected the address from the list displayed by the built-in GPS system. Xongotela drove the car smoothly, navigating the suburban roads that led from their office. When they arrived at the apartment block a few kilometres from the office, Victor pressed a remote control to open the gate, and they drove in, the gate closing behind them.
The ‘friend’s place’ was empty. Xongotela helped Victor up two flights of stairs to the first floor. He was so aroused; her arm was around his waist while his was over her shoulder. The place was clean, well-kept, but empty, devoid of personal touches. It was, in fact, the ‘slaughterhouse’ as the firm’s boys’ club called it. They pooled funds to rent the place to bring young, unsuspecting women there for sex. This was, in fact, a frequent practice among men of their class. When the lease was up for renewal, they found a similar property in the area and shifted every year to avoid detection.
As Xongotela placed Victor on the sofa, she bid him goodbye, saying she would call an Uber ride. Emboldened by the privacy of the quiet apartment and heated with desire, Victor stood up and pulled Xongotela towards him and, slipping his hand inside her blouse, he unhooked her bra, saying, “You smell so good. I can’t wait to…”
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What happened next still had him stunned for the next few years when he recalled it. Xongotela wrestled herself free of his grip. She punched him in the stomach, then whirled around him, kicking him hard on the back of his right knee. He landed face down on the floor. Before he could react, he felt his hands being pulled behind his back and heard the unmistakable click of cold steel of handcuffs around his wrists. Xongotela took the remote control out of his pocket and opened the gate.
As Victor lay on the ground trying to make sense of what was happening, he tried to raise his head, only to see Xongotela squatting next to him, the barrel of a revolver aimed at his forehead. Gone was the coy smile and hesitant manner; in its place was the grim look of a determined woman, who was not to be trifled with. Victor was speechless for the first time in his life.
The door opened. In walked three police officers. They saluted her. “Lieutenant Colonel!“
“At ease, Captains!“ She replied, rising to her feet. Victor found his voice and he was led, protesting loudly, to the waiting police van. Curious neighbours and workers at the complex came out to watch the drama. Victor was driven to the police headquarters for questioning.
Six months later, Victor appeared in court for one count of attempted rape. The star witness was Lieutenant Colonel Maluleke. He was also tried for several other counts of rape with aggravated assault. That little drunken act to lure unsuspecting young women, which was his signature, was the modus operandi of a serial rapist. Most of the victims were too scared or ashamed to report, except one.
Unfortunately for Victor, she was the niece of the Chairperson of the ruling party’s Women’s League. Lieutenant Colonel Maluleke, with her youthful appearance and petite figure, volunteered to go undercover to investigate and be the bait. She collected information using the recording device she had placed inside the Foo dog’s mouth.
Victor’s case was fast-tracked through the court system. There was a great deal of media attention. The accounting firm issued a media statement condemning the crime and committing to enforcing its sexual harassment policy. Aviwe was astonished at first, then felt vindicated. She had her hands full as more victims came forward. Some were still working for the firm. The firm paid for therapy sessions and, where required, financial compensation for the victims to redeem its bad reputation as a haven for sexual predators.
The judge sentenced Victor to several years in prison. She noted in her judgement the number of counts, the severity of the cases and the abuse of his position of power within the firm. He was to be incarcerated at Leeuwkop maximum-security prison in Johannesburg, serving many of the sentences concurrently. He would only be eligible for parole after a minimum of five years.
His wife filed for divorce, which was uncontested. He got the news one cold, rainy morning from one of his few remaining friends. The rest of the ‘boys’ club’ distanced themselves. In a single evening, he had gone from being successful and respected to a target for the prison gangs.
He never made it out on parole. He contracted HIV/AIDS and died of complications from pneumonia. His siblings collected his body, and he was laid to rest in a small private funeral back home in KwaZulu-Natal.
This is a cautionary tale of a hunter caught in his own trap. Tell us what you think of the story in the comments.
Clairs are extrasensory gifts—our spiritual senses beyond the five physical ones. The word literally means “clear,” in French, describing how we receive information: through sight, sound, feeling, knowing, taste, smell, or touch. It is used to describe the ability to receive information from a realm which cannot be perceived by our physical senses. Psychics, mediums, mystics, shamans, different healers from various spiritual traditions and prophets even in biblical times had at least one of the clairs. Many have more than one extra-sensory gift.
🌿 The Four Core Clairs
Clairvoyance (Clear Seeing) You receive visions—mini movies, symbols, flashes—through the third eye. It’s visual data from beyond your physical senses. This can happen when you are wide awake or half-asleep when you are about to fall asleep or waking up.
Clairaudience (Clear Hearing) You hear messages—voices, chimes, guidance—within or around you, guiding choices or confirming decisions. Sometimes you hear your name spoken aloud, like someone calling you. This is described in the first book of Samuel in the Bible, where the prophet as a boy wakes up three times and goes to Eli, the high priest and asks whether he called him
Clairsentience (Clear Feeling) You physically feel emotions or energy that isn’t yours—a chill down the spine, sudden sadness, or compassion in your chest. You can feel sick, headache, nausea or a pain in your chest, things you do not have a reason to feel. These are messages from Spirit about other people.
Claircognizance (Clear Knowing) You simply just know something—without logic, evidence, or explanation. It’s like inner wisdom or a sudden truth.
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💫 The Extended Clairs
These six additional senses may not be as well-known but are equally powerful:
Clairalience/Clairolfaction (Clear Smelling): You smell perfume, smoke, floral scents—signals from spirits or ancestors.
Clairgustance (Clear Tasting): You taste flavors (like sweet, metallic, tobacco) in visions without eating.
Clairtangency (Psychometry – Clear Touch): You touch an object and sense its history, energy patterns, or emotional imprints.
Clairkinesthesia (Clear Movement/Sense): You feel energetic shifts—vibrations, pressure, temperature changes—without physical cause.
Clairempathy (Clear Emotional Sense): You deeply perceive or embody another’s emotional state—even from a distance. (Some integrate this into clairsentience.)
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🔍 How Each Clair Operates in Real Life
Clair Sense and its corresponding real-world example.
Clairvoyance: Seeing an image of an upcoming event, or dreams that resemble reality.
Clairaudience: Hearing a distinct inner voice or even music playing in mind.
Clairsentience: Feeling gut instinct or emotional shifts without logical source. This can manifest as physical sensations on the skin.
Claircognizance: Suddenly “just knowing” the outcome of a conversation or what is going to happen.
Clairalience: Smelling a familiar perfume when remembering a loved one
Clairgustance: Tasting chocolate without eating it, sensing ancestral flavours.
Clairtangency: Holding an heirloom and feeling its story.
Clairkinesthesia: Feeling atmospheric tension before an emotional meeting. This can manifest as sending the movement of energy in a room.
Clairempathy: Absorbing high emotions from a crowd or space
Grounding: Use breathwork, nature, meditation; avoid being overwhelmed.
Practice: Keep an intuitive journal. Test insights from dreams or vibes.
Trust: Validate with others. Regularly ask your spirit guides for clarity. Boundary-keeping: Learn to shield your energy—especially with clairsentience or empaths.
🌱 Integrating the Clairs into Daily Spiritual Life
Leadership: Claircognizance helps you navigate decisions; clairsentience helps you assess team morale.
Self-Care: Knowing your gifts helps you practice energetic hygiene—especially after immersive work.
Community: Share your gift! Others might recognize patterns you’re blind to.
💡 Journal Prompts for Your Clair Journey
Which clair(s) resonate most strongly with your personal experience?
When have sensory anomalies guided or protected you?
How could you honor these gifts as part of your leadership or healing practice?
🌍 Final Reflection
Clairs are not imaginary or mystical — they’re human. They’re part of how we absorb meaning, love, pain, and cosmic guidance. That’s why we all deserve to learn our voice and cultivate our spiritual senses with care, dignity, and empowerment.
Let’s keep unfolding this luminous journey, together.
23 June – 22 July marks the Season of Set in the Southern Hemisphere—a sacred cycle in the Kemetic (ancient Egyptian) spiritual calendar where chaos reigns, storms brew, and illusions are stripped away.
Set, also known as Sutekh, is the powerful and misunderstood deity of chaos, disruption, and necessary transformation. Unlike Western associations of chaos with evil, in Kemetic cosmology, chaos is a creative force—the raw material from which the universe was born.
Among the Zulu people, Set is known as uMbhidlizi, ‘The Destroyer’. This honours the universal principle that chaos and destruction precede order and the process of building something new. The Great Empire of Kemet, an organisation dedicated to restoring ancient wisdom and alignment with the cycles of life in Southern Africa has published a calendar to enable those on the spiritual path to align with the energy of each season to elevate spiritually and ensure abundance and protection.
You may be wondering what the connection is between the present day land of Egypt and Southern Africa. Every year the earth’s magnetic field shift so the compass point we recognise as North shifts by a few degrees every year. More than 30,000 years ago, the earth’s magnetic field pointed south so south was north and the present day north was south. The people of ancient Kemet recognised Southern Africa as the place of their origin. Kemetic artefacts such as the ankh, more than thousands of years old have been found in caves in Southern Africa, the burial places of kings.
Before order (Ma’at) is restored, chaos must first do its sacred work.
🌪️ Why Chaos is Sacred
Chaos is not to be feared. It is to be witnessed, felt, and worked with. The Season of Set invites us to: face what we’ve buried; let go of control; destroy what no longer serves us; and make space for something more aligned to our highest good.
This is a time when relationships shift, emotions erupt, and the soul is called to look inward. If everything around you feels unstable or uncertain, know this: you’re not broken—you’re in rhythm with the season.
For those experiencing a spiritual awakening, this is the time when the dark night of the soul is at its most intense because this is in alignment with the season when the sun is at its furthest from the earth at the height of winter. After the Winter Solstice on the 22nd of June, which marks the slow return of the sun to the Southern Hemisphere, it is still dark and the nights are still long. This is the most intense phase of the ego death which must happen for the spirit to elevate and for one’s spiritual gifts to manifest.
The season of Set aligns with the astrological sign of Capricorn in the Southern Hemisphere. This season requires one to be as persistent and persevering as the mountain goat which climbs steep mountains and can survive in the harshest conditions. The season also corresponds to the energy of Saturn which rules the sign of Capricorn and the 10th house. Saturn is the planet of karma or divine reward or retribution and lessons from experience. The 10th house in astrology rules career and public image. In this season, expect any career or reputation that is built on a false foundation to be destroyed completely. We are expecting a court verdict in the P Diddy trial soon.
This corresponds to card number 13 in the major arcana in Tarot: the Devil. The message of the card is one of sensuality, uncontrolled sexuality, addictions and attachments, things that control you. This is the reason you are called to introspection and to release anything that no longer serves your highest good.
🔥 Honouring Set: Rituals and Offerings
To align with the energy of Set, create sacred space and offer your intention, attention, and reverence.
You can align with the energy if the season on a daily basis by wearing red, wearing or carrying a hematite object or something made of lead. You can wear a print or keep images or sculptures of animals sacred to Set such as the crocodile, the hippopotamus, the goat, the antelope and the gazelle in your space or on your altar.
You can set up a temporary altar with: red candles (for fire, transformation, and vitality); red objects (cloth, stones, or symbols); meat (especially pork, traditionally offered to Set) Lettuce (a sacred Kemetic food), red wine or beer. Alternatively put these objects on your existing altar.
More important than the items is your sincerity. Offer your prayer, your truth, and your willingness to grow through the chaos.
A Simple Prayer to Set
“Great Set, Master of the Storm,
I honour your power and embrace your fire.
Strip me of illusion, burn away my fear.
Help me face my shadows and rise stronger
I walk this chaos with courage,
Knowing Ma’at will return.”
A prayer similar to this is in the Kemet:Afrikan Royal Calendar of Ancestral Prayers in isiZulu. It is written and published by Mkhulu Nsingiza of the Great Empire of Kemet Movement and the Zindzi Mandela Foundation.
🧘🏾♀️ How to Work With the Energy of Chaos
The key is to not resist the storm. Instead, lean in. reflect. release.
Here are powerful practices to ground you:
🌬️ Breathe: Anchor yourself in your body. Inhale deeply. Exhale what you cannot control.
🧹 Clean your house: Physical clutter mirrors spiritual clutter. Set thrives in fresh, open space.
🔥 Cleanse your energy: Smoke, water, salt, prayer—whatever you have access to.
🪞 Reflect: Journal. Meditate. Ask, “What must end? What must be reborn?”
🌍 Ground: Connect with the earth. Bare feet on soil. Water on skin. Stones in hand.
This is also a powerful time to seek therapy, cut energetic cords, or confront emotional truths you’ve avoided.
🌟 The Promise of Ma’at
After the storm, comes clarity.
The Season of Set ends on 22 July, giving way to the Season of Ma’at, where balance, harmony, and truth are restored. The chaos you are experiencing now is not without purpose. It is sacred preparation.
So, if everything feels upside down, if emotions are running high, if life feels uncertain—know this:
You are in the sacred storm. And the storm will pass.
He was the kind of man mothers warned their daughters about.
Wealthy. Charming. Impeccably dressed and emotionally unavailable. His life was a curated collection of conquests—women drawn in by his confidence, seduced by the security he offered, and forgotten before dawn. Relationships were distractions. Commitment was a trap. Love? A game he played to win, not to keep.
Then he met her.
She wasn’t flirting. She wasn’t free.
In fact, she was everything he usually avoided: emotionally complicated and married.
But she was also breathtaking in a quiet, haunting way—elegant in her restraint, compelling in her sorrow. She didn’t chase attention. She didn’t need his money. And when she smiled, it never reached her eyes.
He noticed her before she noticed him. And by the time their conversations grew from polite exchanges to lingering glances and stolen confidences, he was already too deep.
He’d played many games, but this time—he was losing.
The Irresistible Allure of the Unavailable Woman
For the seasoned player, attraction often hinges on novelty, control, and the thrill of the chase. But an unavailable woman, especially one in a marriage, offers a different kind of high. It’s not about the conquest anymore—it’s about the connection. It’s about why he wants her, not just how he’ll get her.
So what changes when she is different?
1. She Doesn’t Need Him—And That’s Magnetic
Most of his flings began with admiration. But she didn’t seem impressed. Not by his car, his watch, or his name. Her emotional world was rich—complex with pain, tethered by duty. She belonged to someone else, but she wasn’t fulfilled. She was surviving, not living.
Her indifference humbled him.
For the first time, a woman wasn’t a mirror to his ego—but a reminder of his emptiness.
2. She’s Real. Raw. Wounded.
Her honesty pierced him. She spoke of her husband’s anger, the loneliness in her bed, the way she’d withered into someone she barely recognized. Yet, she stayed. Out of loyalty. Out of fear. Out of hope that he might change.
She wasn’t pretending. She wasn’t perfect. She was human.
And her pain awakened something inside him that no pleasure ever had: compassion.
3. He Sees the Man He Could Be, Not Just the One He’s Been
Players build walls. It’s how they protect themselves from vulnerability. But with her, the walls cracked. He began to reflect—on his choices, on his reputation, on the hollowness behind the luxury. For the first time, he wanted to offer something more than pleasure.
He wanted to be safe. Reliable. Enough.
Not because she asked. But because she deserved it.
4. The Emotional Stakes Are Higher
When a woman is unavailable, especially emotionally, every moment counts. Every glance becomes sacred. Every brush of the hand carries meaning. It’s intimacy on the edge of a cliff—one wrong move, and it all disappears.
This intensity draws him in. Not to play—but to feel. Deeply.
When the Player Hangs Up His Boots
He doesn’t chase her for sport. He waits. He listens. He learns. For the first time, he understands that love is not about possession—it’s about presence.
Whether she ever leaves her marriage or not becomes secondary. What matters more is who he becomes in the process: a man capable of real love. A man transformed by the courage of a woman who, despite her own brokenness, taught him what it means to be whole.
Final Thoughts
Not every love story ends in union. But some encounters change us forever.
For the man who thought he’d seen it all, it took meeting a woman he could never truly have to realize what he truly wanted: something real. Something deep. Something worth giving up the game for.
Not because she belonged to someone else.
But because, for the first time, he wanted to belong to himself.
Sometimes the greatest lesson love teaches us is not how to win someone over—but how to be worthy of the love we’ve never earned before.
To explore this story further, read Forbidden Games, the latest novel by Pearl Deyi. Now available on Amazon.
She stands at the edge of a precipice, her heart caught between two men: one she vowed to love forever, and one who—without touching her—has awakened a part of her she thought had died.
Her husband is not cruel in the traditional sense. He does not strike her. He provides, yes—but not in the ways that matter most. His affection is rationed. His words, sharp when spoken at all. Her presence in the home feels more like a convenience than a connection. He controls through silence, withholds love as punishment, and has long stopped seeing her as someone to cherish.
Then, unexpectedly, she meets someone else.
He listens. He sees her. With him, she laughs freely again. Her body leans toward his without permission from her mind. It’s not an affair—not yet—but the emotional charge is unmistakable. She feels beautiful, wanted… alive.
And yet, she is tormented by guilt.
How can she be drawn to another man while still married? What does that say about her? Is she betraying her vows, or simply responding to a neglected truth within herself?
This is where the Theory of Emotions can be transformative.
Understanding Emotion: Not the Enemy, But a Messenger
The Theory of Emotions, especially as understood through psychology and cognitive science, posits that emotions are not random disruptions but informative signals. They reflect our unmet needs, internal conflicts, and the alignment—or misalignment—between our environment and our values.
In her case, the emotional pull she feels toward this other man may not just be about lust or escape. It could be a signal—an internal alarm—ringing out about the emotional starvation she has endured for too long.
Emotional Dissonance and Internal Conflict
The woman’s attraction is not inherently immoral; it’s a symptom of a deeper dissonance. She is emotionally disconnected in her marriage, yet bound by duty, loyalty, and perhaps religious or cultural expectations. This internal clash between what she feels and what she “should” feel creates psychological tension known as cognitive dissonance.
The Theory of Emotions invites her to explore this dissonance not with judgment, but with curiosity:
What need is this emotion pointing to? What truth am I avoiding by denying this attraction? What am I afraid will happen if I follow or suppress this feeling?
The Body Knows Before the Mind Accepts
Neuroscience supports that emotional processing often happens faster than cognitive reasoning. This means the butterflies she feels when she sees this man, the way her body warms at his voice—these reactions may be happening before she’s fully conscious of why. Her body is responding to emotional safety, resonance, and vitality—things she no longer associates with her husband.
Reading about emotional theory helps her recognize that feelings are not betrayals—they are data. They don’t dictate what she must do. But they beg to be understood.
What She Might Learn
She is not broken. Feeling attraction outside of a failing relationship is not unusual; it doesn’t make her immoral, it makes her human. Her needs are valid. Emotional neglect is a form of harm. Craving affection, attention, and connection is not weakness—it’s survival. Emotions need space. Suppressing feelings doesn’t make them disappear. Understanding them can lead to healthier choices—whether that’s healing the marriage, seeking therapy, or choosing a new path. Choice begins with clarity. Emotional literacy gives her the language to understand her experience and make informed, compassionate decisions—not reactive ones.
The Next Step
This woman may not be ready to leave her husband. She may never act on her attraction to the other man. But reading the Theory of Emotions gives her a new lens through which to view her inner world. It offers her the possibility of forgiving herself, of moving beyond guilt, and of reclaiming her right to joy and emotional truth.
Because in the end, emotions are not meant to control us—they’re meant to guide us.
And maybe, just maybe, this journey inward is the most faithful act she can make: not to a man, but to herself.
Recommended Reads:
“Emotional Agility” by Susan David “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk “Women Who Run with the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
If you’ve ever felt emotionally torn or trapped in your own life, know this: you are not alone. Your emotions are not a problem to fix—they are a voice longing to be heard.
Want to know what happens next? Read the novel Forbidden Games, available on Amazon.
In Forbidden Games, Thabo wakes from a vivid, unsettling dream: a man steps into his bedroom, takes his wife by the hand, and rides away with her into the night on a roaring motorcycle. It’s just a dream—until life begins to echo that eerie vision. Was it a warning? A premonition? Or merely a reflection of Thabo’s deepest fears?
Welcome to the fascinating—and often haunting—world of precognitive dreams.
Can Dreams Really Foresee the Future?
Precognitive dreams are dreams that seem to predict future events. People across cultures and centuries have reported eerily accurate visions of accidents, deaths, opportunities, or life-changing encounters—long before they happened in waking life.
Science remains cautious. While mainstream psychology often attributes these dreams to coincidence, subconscious pattern recognition, or anxiety, the truth is more complex. Human beings are deeply intuitive creatures. What if dreams are simply a more fluid language of that intuition?
Do Ancestors and Spirit Guides Speak in Dreams?
For many people, especially in African spiritual traditions, dreams are more than brain activity—they are sacred messages. Elders teach us that dreams are the language of the soul, and often the realm where ancestors, spirit guides, or divine forces communicate what we’re not ready to see while awake.
In this context, Thabo’s dream wasn’t random—it was ancestral intervention. A nudge from the spirit realm. A vision wrapped in symbols to protect, guide, or awaken him.
What Happens When You Ignore the Warnings?
Ignoring a precognitive dream can be like silencing a fire alarm. The dream might come again—louder, darker. Or worse, it might play out in real life just as you saw it.
In Forbidden Games, Thabo doesn’t act on his dream. He dismisses it, and as his wife begins to drift into the arms of another man, he’s left wondering: ‘Could I have stopped this if I had listened?’
The real tragedy isn’t always the event—it’s the regret of not listening to your own spirit.
Final Thoughts: Dreams Are Doors
Whether you see dreams as spiritual messages, psychological puzzles, or a fusion of both, one thing is undeniable—they are powerful. They are windows into our deepest truths, fears, desires… and sometimes, our future.
So the next time you dream something that lingers in your bones, don’t just brush it off. Sit with it. Write it down. Ask your guides. Consult your elders. Sometimes, the dream is a warning. Sometimes, it’s a wake-up call.
And sometimes, it’s a prophecy waiting to be heeded.
Have you ever had a dream that came true? Do you believe the future speaks in your sleep? Share your story in the comments.
📚 Read more in Forbidden Games — available now on Amazon. Dive into the passion, betrayal, and the dreams that changed everything.
From the moment billionaire Alexander Martin spotted her across the quiet bookstore, he had to have her. Professional, calm, composed in her tailored suit and button-down blouse, Lindelwe Rantao was the last woman he would have pursued, married, loyal, off-limits. But he hadn’t built an empire by obeying limits.
What began as a game of pursuit, a challenge to shake her world, quickly unraveled into something far more dangerous. Lindi wasn’t just trapped in a loveless marriage; she was surviving a life that threatened to swallow her whole. And Alex’s desire to possess her shifted into a relentless need to protect her.
But love comes at a price. For her freedom. For his soul. And for secrets that could destroy them both.
Because falling for a married woman is reckless. Falling for one with a jealous, abusive husband? That’s war.
Read a sample and get your copy now on Amazon here.
Lately, I have been urged to revisit my understanding of spirituality—a concept rich in diversity yet universally inherent in our existence. In our journey towards self-discovery and enrichment, recognizing the interplay between spiritual gifts, mission, and life purpose is vital. This article explores how these elements relate to one another and how they manifest uniquely in each person’s life.
Spirituality: A Universal Concept
Many people perceive spirituality as a product of specific cultures. Still, at its core, spirituality transcends cultural boundaries; it is universal. We are all divine beings, blessed with unique gifts that empower us to undertake the missions we sign up for in our earthly existence. Each gift serves a specific purpose in accomplishing our assigned tasks. For instance, a person with the gift of empathy may find their calling in healing others through compassion, while someone else may possess artistic talents that allow them to inspire joy through creativity.
Discerning Between Life Purpose and Mission
It is crucial to understand that life purpose is not synonymous with mission. As a light worker, my mission involves teaching, healing, and bringing hope to those around me. However, my life purpose encompasses more than my mission; it includes my roles as a wife, mother, and member of my community—elements that contribute to my soul’s evolution beyond my professional obligations. By embracing these diverse roles, I am continuing my spiritual growth, which complements my mission.
The Pressure of Finding Your Life Purpose
The concept of life purpose can often impose pressure on individuals. It becomes idealistic and overwhelming when labeled as an ultimate goal to achieve. However, it’s essential to realize that every situation presents opportunities to fulfill your mission. For example, at work, I may teach and heal by providing a listening ear, allowing others to share their pain and find closure. In such moments, the mission is accomplished, emphasizing that our contributions can be significant irrespective of the setting.
Unique Execution of Missions
How we carry out our missions is shaped by our individual gifts and circumstances. Not everyone can commit to a full-time role as a healer due to family responsibilities or other engagements. Some may express their gifts in different capacities, which is valid and necessary. Understanding this individuality enhances our collective experience and ensures that each person contributes to the world in their authentic way.
The Role of Culture in Spirituality
Culture is a human construct intended to foster belonging and connection among people. While divergent in practice, all spiritual traditions share common threads, primarily the use of music in worship. Sound’s vibration embodies the universal language, facilitating our connection to the divine. Elements such as clapping, drumming, dancing, and melody serve as integral expressions of faith across various cultures and religions.
The Power of Music in Spiritual Expression
Musicians, starseeds, light workers, healers, seers, prophets—essentially, all individuals engaged in spiritual practices—can be viewed as children of song – abantwana bengoma in Nguni languages. Our relationship with nature, the universe, spirits, deities, and the divine is frequently mediated through music, transcending language and cultural constructs. Thus, it becomes clear that regardless of the spirits we engage with or the traditions we uphold, music and sound play a pivotal role in our spiritual journeys.
Embracing Cultural Diversity in Spiritual Practices
Finally, it is critical that we stop boxing and labeling our cultural expressions of spirituality. Imposing our limited perspectives on how spirituality should be practiced holds back our collective growth. Instead, we should embrace and learn from diverse spiritual practices and cultural expressions. By exploring paths outside our traditional norms, we expand our horizons and promote personal growth, leading to a richer understanding of spirituality.
Conclusion
In conclusion, recognizing the relationship between spiritual gifts, mission, and purpose is essential to our individual and collective evolution as spiritual beings. By understanding that spirituality is universal, life purpose extends beyond our mission, and cultural diversity enriches our experiences, we foster a more inclusive and vibrant spiritual landscape. Let us celebrate our gifts and missions while remaining open to new expressions and insights, allowing ourselves the freedom to evolve and grow together.
Crystals have been cherished for millennia, not only for their beauty but also for their believed metaphysical properties. Each gemstone is thought to resonate with specific energies, aligning with various chakras in the body to promote balance and healing.
I have always been drawn to crystals, starting as a child when I would collect interesting-looking rocks and pebbles of different colours. As an adult I began to work with crystals to enhance my spiritual practice. This includes wearing them in a crystal cage around my neck or wearing crystal bead bracelets or necklaces.
Crystals carry ancient earth energy and work with the body’s electromagnetic field or aura to recharge and balance the energy. This helps with emotional and physical conditions as these often manifest as a result of energy imbalances or blockages.
I find crystals to be very useful as an empath to prevent absorbing other people’s emotions and energy especially when leaving the house. At the beginning of my journey, before I started doing energy work and learned to control my energy, I was often overwhelmed by negative energy from other people, especially in crowded places and I would feel drained and exhausted when I arrived home.
We explore several notable crystals below and their associated benefits:
1. Lava Stone
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Known for its grounding qualities, lava stone is believed to provide strength and courage. Often incorporated into chakra bracelets, it is associated with the root chakra, helping to alleviate anxiety and fear by fostering a connection to the earth.
2. Hematite
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Hematite is reputed for its grounding and protective properties. It is said to enhance practicality and courage, working with the root chakra to instill a sense of stability and security.
3. Tiger’s Eye
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Tiger’s Eye is associated with protection and personal empowerment. It is believed to boost self-confidence, determination, and clarity of vision. This stone, along with other yellow crystals like citrine, is linked to the solar plexus chakra, enhancing one’s ability to take decisive action and attract prosperity.
4. Malachite
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Malachite is considered a stone of transformation and manifestation. It is thought to encourage change and self-empowerment. Working with the heart chakra, malachite aims to heal emotional traumas and strengthen one’s resolve.
5. Jade
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Jade is traditionally associated with luck, harmony, and prosperity. This green stone resonates with the heart chakra, promoting emotional balance and attracting various forms of abundance.
6. Lapis Lazuli
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Lapis Lazuli is revered for its connection to wisdom and intuition. It is believed to provide clarity and enhance self-expression. This stone works with both the throat and third eye chakras, supporting effective communication and insightful understanding.
7. Sodalite
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Sodalite is thought to promote rationality and truth. It encourages honesty with oneself and others, enhancing intuition. Associated with the throat chakra, sodalite aids in improving communication and self-expression.
8. Amethyst
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Amethyst is known for its calming and protective qualities. It is believed to relieve stress and assist with overcoming addictions. This purple stone resonates with the crown chakra, facilitating spiritual connection and communication with higher realms.
9. Moonstone
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Moonstone is associated with intuition, energy, and passion. It is thought to balance the sacral and third eye chakras, making it beneficial for sensitive and intuitive individuals. Moonstone is also recognized as a birthstone for Cancer and is favorable for those with Scorpio and Pisces placements.
10. Red Goldstone
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Red Goldstone is linked to ambition and determination. It is believed to energize and revitalize one’s energy field, calming strong emotions and absorbing negative thoughts. This stone works with the root and solar plexus chakras.
11. Red Coral
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Red Coral is associated with increased energy and vitality. It is thought to boost financial success, courage, and leadership qualities, aiding in task completion and protecting against negative influences. Red Coral resonates with the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras.
Cleansing and Charging Your Crystals
To maintain their energetic properties, it’s essential to cleanse and charge your crystals regularly. Here are some methods:
• Smoke Cleansing: Pass the crystal through the smoke of frankincense or other purifying herbs.
• Anointing: Apply a small amount of frankincense-infused oil to the crystal.
• Salt Burial: Place the crystal in a bowl of coarse salt overnight.
• Sunlight or Moonlight Exposure: Leave the crystal under sunlight or moonlight to recharge.
• Earth Burial: Bury the crystal in the earth for a period to cleanse and recharge it.
Some crystals are sensitive to water or sunlight and may be damaged by these cleansing methods. For example, stones like malachite, selenite, and lapis lazuli should not be cleansed with water. Always research the specific care requirements for each crystal.
You can wear a single strand of crystals or multiple strands. A general rule with bracelets is to wear the crystals on your dominant hand to discharge negative energy and for protection. Good crystals for this are black ones like lava stone or obsidian and tourmaline. To reflect back negativity use hematite. For protection you can use Smokey quartz and amethyst. You can wear Whatever crystals you are drawn to.
You can wear crystals on your non-dominant had to receive positive energy that is aligned to the qualities you need.
I like to make chakra bracelets with a crystal colour aligned to each chakra and filler beads like seashell beads or clear quartz. These are good for wearing daily.
Chakra bracelet
Incorporating crystals into your daily life can be a beautiful way to enhance your well-being and spiritual journey. Always choose stones that resonate with you personally, as your intuition is a powerful guide in selecting the energies you need.
For more insights and guidance on crystal healing, you can connect with Nomathemba on Twitter: @NomaDzino.
Please note that the information provided here is based on traditional beliefs about crystals and is not intended as medical advice.
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