Tag Archives: Love

Is It Love or a Trauma Bond? When Loving a Bad Boy Isn’t Love at All

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There’s something intoxicating about the bad boy. The aloofness. The danger. The emotional rollercoaster. The sweet highs followed by gut-wrenching lows. For many, the pull feels undeniable—inescapable, even. But here’s the truth: what we often mistake for love may actually be trauma.

So how do you know the difference between a genuine soul connection and a trauma bond dressed up in romance?

Let’s go deeper.

🧠 When Love Mirrors Old Wounds

A trauma bond forms when we become emotionally attached to someone who repeatedly hurts us. It’s the emotional equivalent of an addiction: a cycle of pain followed by intermittent reward that keeps us hooked. You may feel unable to leave, despite knowing the relationship is harming you.

This cycle is especially common in relationships where one partner is emotionally unavailable, abusive, or dismissive—and the other is stuck trying to earn love that should be freely given.

It’s not love—it’s survival.

And survival patterns are often rooted in our earliest relationships—especially with our parents.

👨‍👧 Daddy Issues, Mother Wounds & Repeating the Past

Many women who chase unavailable or abusive men are replaying unresolved pain from childhood:

A father who left, abandoned, or emotionally neglected them—instilling the belief that love must be chased, earned, or proven. A mother who was critical, absent, or hurt herself—leaving emotional scars and shaping one’s view of worthiness in love. A home environment where love was conditional, chaotic, or abusive—making dysfunction feel familiar, even safe.

We’re not consciously choosing to relive our trauma. But our nervous systems crave what they know—even if it hurts.

🌌 The Spiritual Truth: You Attract What You Are

It’s often said: We don’t attract what we want. We attract what we are. Your vibration—your beliefs, your wounds, your energy—draws in relationships that match your inner state. If your inner world is filled with abandonment wounds, low self-worth, or chaos, you may subconsciously attract partners who reflect those wounds back to you.

That doesn’t mean you’re to blame. It means your energy is calling in mirrors—not because you deserve pain, but because your soul is seeking healing.

Spiritually, toxic relationships can serve as teachers—illuminating what still needs to be healed.

🚨 6 Signs It’s a Trauma Bond, Not Love

1. You feel addicted to the relationship, even when it hurts.

2. You justify or downplay abuse or disrespect.

3. You feel anxious, not safe, around your partner.

4. You’ve lost yourself trying to please or “fix” them.

5. They give you crumbs, and you treat them like a feast.

6. You’ve mistaken chaos for passion—because calm feels boring or “off.”

🛤️ Healing the Pattern: How to Break Free & Attract Healthy Love

Acknowledge the Pattern. Recognize that what you’re experiencing isn’t healthy love. Naming the cycle is the first step to breaking it.

Do the Inner Work Therapy, inner child healing, shadow work, and journaling help uncover the core wounds driving your attraction to pain.

Cut Energetic Cords. Practice spiritual cord-cutting rituals to release unhealthy attachments. Cleanse your energy regularly to reset your vibration. Read my upcoming blog posts thus week on cutting energetic cords and protecting your energy. I also have a YouTube video on that.

Reparent Yourself. Give yourself the safety, love, and validation your parents didn’t provide. You become your own source.

Raise Your Vibration. Do this through cultivating self-love, gratitude, meditation, and joy. Mirror work is a great way to do this. Stand in front of the mirror and speak good things about yourself to your reflection. Do this for a few minutes daily to reprogram your subconscious mind. You begin to attract from a place of worth, not woundedness.

Redefine Love. Love is not supposed to hurt, confuse, or deplete you. Real love is safe, consistent, reciprocal, and kind. Believe you deserve a love that you do not have to work hard or diminish yourself to earn.

💗 Final Words: You Deserve the Love You Give

The truth is, love doesn’t look like begging, suffering, or waiting for someone to change.

If you were taught that love means sacrifice, pain, or chasing someone who keeps slipping away, it’s time to rewrite the story.

You are worthy of love that feels like peace, not pain.

Healing your patterns means you no longer accept less than you deserve. You stop dancing with emotionally unavailable partners and start making room for those who meet you in your fullness.

Because when you love yourself deeply, you raise your standards—and your vibration will only attract what honors that.

Loving and Letting Go — When a Married Woman Walks Away and a Man Learns to Stay

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It didn’t begin with a plan to fall in love.

They were cautious at first—two people walking parallel paths through lonely days. She, a married woman aching for connection in a home where silence had become the loudest voice. He, a man who’d spent his life skimming the surface of affection, never diving deep enough to risk drowning.

Their love affair was born in stolen time and sacred moments. And somewhere between late-night phone calls and shared glances that said more than words ever could, something real took root.

But love is complicated when it’s borrowed.

And one day, she ended it.

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The Weight of Her Choice

She chose her marriage—not because it made her happy, but because it needed her. Because she had made vows. Because she wanted to say she tried everything before walking away. Because sometimes love alone isn’t enough to outrun guilt, family, and history.

And so, she said goodbye. Not because she didn’t love him—but because she did, and it made everything harder.

He watched her walk away, heart in his throat, soul unraveling.

It wasn’t just her he lost—it was who he had become when he was with her: open, tender, accountable.

The Heartbreak That Changed Him

At first, he was angry. Not at her, but at the world. At timing. At the irony of falling in love with the one woman he could never keep.

But grief has a way of making space for truth.

And in the quiet after her departure, he began to reflect—not just on what he lost, but on how he’d lived. For years, he had avoided commitment. He had mastered the art of detachment, of pleasure without permanence. But she changed that.

She taught him how to feel. How to listen. How to show up for someone with his full presence, not just his body.

She cracked him open, and in doing so, revealed the man he could be.

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Becoming the Man Who Can Stay

Losing her didn’t harden him—it refined him.

Ideally he should have started therapy, but he’s not that kind of man. He should have dug into his patterns. He should have questioned why he had run from love for so long. However, he didn’t stop looking for distractions. Eventually, he was forced to introspect and start searching for meaning.

He realized that real love isn’t about winning someone—it’s about being worthy of them.

She made him want to become a man who could be trusted. A man who could be counted on. A man who didn’t fear forever.

And even though she was gone, he carried her with him—not as a wound, but as a mirror.

Will She Come Back?

He doesn’t know.

Sometimes, when the ache is sharpest, he imagines her returning. Choosing herself. Choosing him. Choosing freedom and joy over duty and endurance.

But he also knows: love that demands sacrifice cannot demand certainty.

So he waits—not for her, but for what’s real. For someone who wants the version of him she helped uncover.

Final Thoughts

Some love stories don’t end with two people together.

Some end with two people changed.

She walked away hoping to fix what was broken. He stayed behind holding the gift of who he became through loving her.

And maybe that’s what real love does—it breaks us open, yes, but only so we can rebuild with stronger, more honest hands.

She may never return.

But thanks to her, he’ll be ready if someone else does.

Because sometimes the one who leaves isn’t the one who stays—but is still the reason we finally learn how to.

Do you want to know how the story unfolds? Read Forbidden Games, the latest novel by Pearl Deyi, now available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Games-Pearl-Deyi-ebook/dp/B0FFQNMKNW

Sex, Spirit, and Soul Ties: A Conversation We Must Have

Posted on by under Culture, Spirituality, Uncategorized

By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

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Reading through the #My1stSexualExperienceWas hashtag reveals just how much pain and confusion still surround sex, particularly for women. It is a haunting reminder that our society has failed to teach the full story of what sex is—not just biology and “don’t get pregnant” warnings, but the emotional, spiritual, and psychological dimensions that linger long after the act is over.

Centuries ago, African cultures had initiation schools to prepare young people for adulthood. These were sacred spaces that taught not only about physical maturity but also about emotional intelligence, responsibility, boundaries, and the sacredness of intimacy. It’s time we return to a holistic model of sex education—one that honours the full humanity of both boys and girls.

Sex Is More Than a Physical Act

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Sex is sacred. It’s powerful, someone once wrote: ‘sex can create a memory, make a baby or generate a disaster.’ It connects two people not only physically but emotionally and spiritually. It creates ties—some healing, some harmful. In the right context—between two people who love and respect each other—sex can be affirming and deeply pleasurable. But when used as a tool of manipulation or taken without mutual consent, it becomes a source of spiritual damage.

This is not just poetic metaphor. It’s spiritual reality. During sex, we exchange DNA and spiritual energy. If your partner is emotionally broken or spiritually dark, that energy can pass into you. If they are entangled with other partners, you can be exposed to those energies too—without even knowing it.

Soul Ties and Spiritual Attachments

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Have you ever felt an inexplicable longing for someone who hurt you? Or found yourself unable to move on, even though your mind knows better? That’s the power of a soul tie—a spiritual connection that keeps you bound to someone, often through trauma bonding. It’s one of the reasons why narcissists love-bomb, rush intimacy, and then abandon you. They know that once a sexual bond is created, it becomes harder for you to leave.

Breaking up, divorcing, or even mourning a partner who has died doesn’t automatically sever the spiritual tie. Rituals, prayers, and conscious detachment are often needed to truly be free.

The Energetics of Sex

Sex releases energy—life force energy. That’s why you feel physically drained afterwards. Workers of darkness know this and use sex in rituals to harness that energy. Some even go as far as collecting bodily fluids to be used in harmful spiritual practices. Women have traditionally been taught to wash or cleanse after sex, not just for hygiene, but for spiritual protection.

If your partner is involved with others, spiritual harm can come to you from people you’ve never met—through the ties your partner maintains. This is not superstition. It’s spiritual science.

Reclaiming Sacred Sexuality

We must reclaim sex as something sacred. This means:

Teaching young people about consent, respect, and pleasure. Helping women know their bodies and communicate their needs. Ensuring boys understand emotional responsibility and that intimacy is not conquest. Encouraging discernment over casual encounters—not from shame, but from awareness.

Men need to understand that female arousal is not instant. It requires emotional connection, trust, and safety. And women need to stop being policed by outdated patriarchal norms that protect male predatory behaviour, while shaming female agency.

In Conclusion

Sex is not something to fear—but it is something to respect. It can build or destroy, heal or harm, elevate or enslave. We owe ourselves—and our children—a deeper conversation.

Let’s talk. Let’s teach. Let’s heal.

Reflection Questions

Have I ever felt spiritually tied to someone after intimacy? What rituals or practices help me cleanse and reclaim my energy? How can I teach or model holistic sexuality in my community?

Affirmation

I honour my body, my spirit, and my sacred energy. I choose love, truth, and protection.

Conclusion: A Call for Holistic Education

Holistic sex education must address the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of intimacy. It should teach children about the joys and responsibilities of sex, emphasizing love, respect, and mutual pleasure. Conversations about consent, boundaries, and self-respect are crucial, as are discussions about the risks of harmful relationships and spiritual entanglements.

By fostering open, honest conversations, we can empower future generations to make informed choices about their bodies and relationships. The goal is not just to prevent harm but to celebrate the transformative power of intimacy when shared with love and respect.

When the Game Ends — The Player, the Married Woman, and the Pull of the Unavailable

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By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

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He was the kind of man mothers warned their daughters about.

Wealthy. Charming. Impeccably dressed and emotionally unavailable. His life was a curated collection of conquests—women drawn in by his confidence, seduced by the security he offered, and forgotten before dawn. Relationships were distractions. Commitment was a trap. Love? A game he played to win, not to keep.

Then he met her.

She wasn’t flirting. She wasn’t free.

In fact, she was everything he usually avoided: emotionally complicated and married.

But she was also breathtaking in a quiet, haunting way—elegant in her restraint, compelling in her sorrow. She didn’t chase attention. She didn’t need his money. And when she smiled, it never reached her eyes.

He noticed her before she noticed him. And by the time their conversations grew from polite exchanges to lingering glances and stolen confidences, he was already too deep.

He’d played many games, but this time—he was losing.

The Irresistible Allure of the Unavailable Woman

For the seasoned player, attraction often hinges on novelty, control, and the thrill of the chase. But an unavailable woman, especially one in a marriage, offers a different kind of high. It’s not about the conquest anymore—it’s about the connection. It’s about why he wants her, not just how he’ll get her.

So what changes when she is different?

1. She Doesn’t Need Him—And That’s Magnetic

Most of his flings began with admiration. But she didn’t seem impressed. Not by his car, his watch, or his name. Her emotional world was rich—complex with pain, tethered by duty. She belonged to someone else, but she wasn’t fulfilled. She was surviving, not living.

Her indifference humbled him.

For the first time, a woman wasn’t a mirror to his ego—but a reminder of his emptiness.

2. She’s Real. Raw. Wounded.

Her honesty pierced him. She spoke of her husband’s anger, the loneliness in her bed, the way she’d withered into someone she barely recognized. Yet, she stayed. Out of loyalty. Out of fear. Out of hope that he might change.

She wasn’t pretending. She wasn’t perfect. She was human.

And her pain awakened something inside him that no pleasure ever had: compassion.

3. He Sees the Man He Could Be, Not Just the One He’s Been

Players build walls. It’s how they protect themselves from vulnerability. But with her, the walls cracked. He began to reflect—on his choices, on his reputation, on the hollowness behind the luxury. For the first time, he wanted to offer something more than pleasure.

He wanted to be safe. Reliable. Enough.

Not because she asked. But because she deserved it.

4. The Emotional Stakes Are Higher

When a woman is unavailable, especially emotionally, every moment counts. Every glance becomes sacred. Every brush of the hand carries meaning. It’s intimacy on the edge of a cliff—one wrong move, and it all disappears.

This intensity draws him in. Not to play—but to feel. Deeply.

When the Player Hangs Up His Boots

He doesn’t chase her for sport. He waits. He listens. He learns. For the first time, he understands that love is not about possession—it’s about presence.

Whether she ever leaves her marriage or not becomes secondary. What matters more is who he becomes in the process: a man capable of real love. A man transformed by the courage of a woman who, despite her own brokenness, taught him what it means to be whole.

Final Thoughts

Not every love story ends in union. But some encounters change us forever.

For the man who thought he’d seen it all, it took meeting a woman he could never truly have to realize what he truly wanted: something real. Something deep. Something worth giving up the game for.

Not because she belonged to someone else.

But because, for the first time, he wanted to belong to himself.

Sometimes the greatest lesson love teaches us is not how to win someone over—but how to be worthy of the love we’ve never earned before.

To explore this story further, read Forbidden Games, the latest novel by Pearl Deyi. Now available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Games-Pearl-Deyi-ebook/dp/B0FFQNMKNW

When Desire Meets Dissonance: A Woman’s Journey Through Emotional Clarity

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By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

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She stands at the edge of a precipice, her heart caught between two men: one she vowed to love forever, and one who—without touching her—has awakened a part of her she thought had died.

Her husband is not cruel in the traditional sense. He does not strike her. He provides, yes—but not in the ways that matter most. His affection is rationed. His words, sharp when spoken at all. Her presence in the home feels more like a convenience than a connection. He controls through silence, withholds love as punishment, and has long stopped seeing her as someone to cherish.

Then, unexpectedly, she meets someone else.

He listens. He sees her. With him, she laughs freely again. Her body leans toward his without permission from her mind. It’s not an affair—not yet—but the emotional charge is unmistakable. She feels beautiful, wanted… alive.

And yet, she is tormented by guilt.

How can she be drawn to another man while still married? What does that say about her? Is she betraying her vows, or simply responding to a neglected truth within herself?

This is where the Theory of Emotions can be transformative.

Understanding Emotion: Not the Enemy, But a Messenger

The Theory of Emotions, especially as understood through psychology and cognitive science, posits that emotions are not random disruptions but informative signals. They reflect our unmet needs, internal conflicts, and the alignment—or misalignment—between our environment and our values.

In her case, the emotional pull she feels toward this other man may not just be about lust or escape. It could be a signal—an internal alarm—ringing out about the emotional starvation she has endured for too long.

Emotional Dissonance and Internal Conflict

The woman’s attraction is not inherently immoral; it’s a symptom of a deeper dissonance. She is emotionally disconnected in her marriage, yet bound by duty, loyalty, and perhaps religious or cultural expectations. This internal clash between what she feels and what she “should” feel creates psychological tension known as cognitive dissonance.

The Theory of Emotions invites her to explore this dissonance not with judgment, but with curiosity:

What need is this emotion pointing to? What truth am I avoiding by denying this attraction? What am I afraid will happen if I follow or suppress this feeling?

The Body Knows Before the Mind Accepts

Neuroscience supports that emotional processing often happens faster than cognitive reasoning. This means the butterflies she feels when she sees this man, the way her body warms at his voice—these reactions may be happening before she’s fully conscious of why. Her body is responding to emotional safety, resonance, and vitality—things she no longer associates with her husband.

Reading about emotional theory helps her recognize that feelings are not betrayals—they are data. They don’t dictate what she must do. But they beg to be understood.

What She Might Learn

She is not broken. Feeling attraction outside of a failing relationship is not unusual; it doesn’t make her immoral, it makes her human. Her needs are valid. Emotional neglect is a form of harm. Craving affection, attention, and connection is not weakness—it’s survival. Emotions need space. Suppressing feelings doesn’t make them disappear. Understanding them can lead to healthier choices—whether that’s healing the marriage, seeking therapy, or choosing a new path. Choice begins with clarity. Emotional literacy gives her the language to understand her experience and make informed, compassionate decisions—not reactive ones.

The Next Step

This woman may not be ready to leave her husband. She may never act on her attraction to the other man. But reading the Theory of Emotions gives her a new lens through which to view her inner world. It offers her the possibility of forgiving herself, of moving beyond guilt, and of reclaiming her right to joy and emotional truth.

Because in the end, emotions are not meant to control us—they’re meant to guide us.

And maybe, just maybe, this journey inward is the most faithful act she can make: not to a man, but to herself.

Recommended Reads:

“Emotional Agility” by Susan David “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk “Women Who Run with the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

If you’ve ever felt emotionally torn or trapped in your own life, know this: you are not alone. Your emotions are not a problem to fix—they are a voice longing to be heard.

Want to know what happens next? Read the novel Forbidden Games, available on Amazon.

https://a.co/d/cfaDeKZ

Riding into Destiny — The Truth About Precognitive Dreams

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By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

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In Forbidden Games, Thabo wakes from a vivid, unsettling dream: a man steps into his bedroom, takes his wife by the hand, and rides away with her into the night on a roaring motorcycle. It’s just a dream—until life begins to echo that eerie vision. Was it a warning? A premonition? Or merely a reflection of Thabo’s deepest fears?

Welcome to the fascinating—and often haunting—world of precognitive dreams.

Can Dreams Really Foresee the Future?

Precognitive dreams are dreams that seem to predict future events. People across cultures and centuries have reported eerily accurate visions of accidents, deaths, opportunities, or life-changing encounters—long before they happened in waking life.

Science remains cautious. While mainstream psychology often attributes these dreams to coincidence, subconscious pattern recognition, or anxiety, the truth is more complex. Human beings are deeply intuitive creatures. What if dreams are simply a more fluid language of that intuition?

Do Ancestors and Spirit Guides Speak in Dreams?

For many people, especially in African spiritual traditions, dreams are more than brain activity—they are sacred messages. Elders teach us that dreams are the language of the soul, and often the realm where ancestors, spirit guides, or divine forces communicate what we’re not ready to see while awake.

In this context, Thabo’s dream wasn’t random—it was ancestral intervention. A nudge from the spirit realm. A vision wrapped in symbols to protect, guide, or awaken him.

What Happens When You Ignore the Warnings?

Ignoring a precognitive dream can be like silencing a fire alarm. The dream might come again—louder, darker. Or worse, it might play out in real life just as you saw it.

In Forbidden Games, Thabo doesn’t act on his dream. He dismisses it, and as his wife begins to drift into the arms of another man, he’s left wondering: ‘Could I have stopped this if I had listened?’

The real tragedy isn’t always the event—it’s the regret of not listening to your own spirit.

Final Thoughts: Dreams Are Doors

Whether you see dreams as spiritual messages, psychological puzzles, or a fusion of both, one thing is undeniable—they are powerful. They are windows into our deepest truths, fears, desires… and sometimes, our future.

So the next time you dream something that lingers in your bones, don’t just brush it off. Sit with it. Write it down. Ask your guides. Consult your elders. Sometimes, the dream is a warning. Sometimes, it’s a wake-up call.

And sometimes, it’s a prophecy waiting to be heeded.

Have you ever had a dream that came true? Do you believe the future speaks in your sleep? Share your story in the comments.

📚 Read more in Forbidden Games — available now on Amazon. Dive into the passion, betrayal, and the dreams that changed everything.

https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Games-Pearl-Deyi-ebook/dp/B0FFQNMKNW

#PrecognitiveDreams #AfricanSpirituality #ForbiddenGamesNovel #DreamInterpretation #BlackFiction #RomanceReads #TrustTheSigns #SpiritualMessages #PearlDeyi #DreamsAndDestiny

Forbidden Games

Posted on by under Culture

From the moment billionaire Alexander Martin spotted her across the quiet bookstore, he had to have her. Professional, calm, composed in her tailored suit and button-down blouse, Lindelwe Rantao was the last woman he would have pursued, married, loyal, off-limits. But he hadn’t built an empire by obeying limits.

What began as a game of pursuit, a challenge to shake her world, quickly unraveled into something far more dangerous. Lindi wasn’t just trapped in a loveless marriage; she was surviving a life that threatened to swallow her whole. And Alex’s desire to possess her shifted into a relentless need to protect her.

But love comes at a price. For her freedom. For his soul. And for secrets that could destroy them both.

Because falling for a married woman is reckless.
Falling for one with a jealous, abusive husband?
That’s war.

Read a sample and get your copy now on Amazon here.

Book Review: A Family Affair By Sue Nyathi

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By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

I’ve been saving Sue’s latest novel for a time when I have time to read uninterrupted. The wait was well worth it. There is always a temptation to retell the story when you enjoy it so much. This family saga set in Bulawayo has all the elements of a bestseller. It’s good to finally read a family saga in the tradition of Barbara Taylor Bradford in an African setting. Having lived in Harare and visited Bulawayo it brought back memories of growing in Zimbabwe before the economic collapse.

Sue’s characters and settings are completely relatable. We all have the black sheep sibling, the meddling aunt, the feckless uncle and delinquent teenage and religious fundamentalists to keep everyone in line. Sue manages to convey the pathos and despair of sexual and physical abuse, dire financial straits and the choices people make in desperation to survive and hold onto the people they love while weaving all of it into a great story.

She deftly portrays contemporary social issues such as the modern mega churches where people turn to faith in God to ease the pain and despair and find solutions for issues in their lives. Conservative views about women, their sexuality and relationship choices are also a key theme as the family grapples with the issue of unwed motherhood, separation and divorce in the lives of their three daughters. A man’s sexual sins are not judged with the same severity. Interestingly it’s the women who are more vocal and judgmental about what constitutes appropriate behaviour.

I enjoyed every page. I would recommend you read this and her other books Polygamy and Gold Diggers.

Sis! You Had One Job.

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Picture courtesy of Pexels.com

‘Tell me about yourself’, The stranger says
Looking deep into my eyes
Potential lover?
Looks like husband material too,
At 2 metres plus.
‘What do you want to know?
The truth is the wrong answer will end the conversation
Just like that.

‘Tell me something. Anything! I want to get to know you.’
What he really wants to know is…
Am I just a pretty face?
Am I smarter than him?
Am I fun to be with?
What’s my body count?
If he turns on the charm, will I have sex with him?
On the first date?

‘Think carefully.
Watch your words,
Don’t give away too much,
But keep it interesting.’
That’s my social self talking.
Relentless cynic, inner critic
The ego that must always shine.

‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Say:’
‘I love to cook. What’s your favourite food?’
‘I exercise everyday. Keeping fit & healthy is important to me.’
Well it’s true. No more lockdown love handles.
My jeans fit perfectly, no muffin top.
If he’s a gym freak that should do it.
A quick Google search for Lewis Hamilton’s stats
Or the World Golf Rankings. He looks like the classy expensive type. I could just say. ‘I enjoy watching action movies.’
Netflix and chill is my vibe.
What man can resist that?

Instead, my essential self says
‘I am a spark of the Divine
My eyes shine with the light of a thousand moons
In my DNA hides the wisdom of the ages
I am creatively inspired
My love is infinite
Dive into the deep waters of my soul
If you dare.
An oyster carrying a rare and precious pearl
Is what you will find there.’

‘Uh! Oh. That’s really great.’ He checks his phone. ‘It’s been great chatting. I’m really sorry….’ I hear the ‘but’, seconds before it comes. ‘I’ll call you.’ ‘Ok. cool.’ I sip my coffee and wave. Nonchalantly. Goodbye husband material.

My social self *sighs and facepalms* ‘Really!’ She’s furious. It’s our first date in months. ‘You had to go there. You had one job.’ ‘All you had to do was make him like you.’

© Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

Book Review: Nomaswazi by Busisekile Khumalo

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The story begins with a recollection of a wedding. You would think they live the happily ever after. Instead find yourself on a high speed train ride that is the relationship between Nomaswazi and the man that left her at the altar. An innocent girl, she is crushed by the rejection and flees to Johannesburg.

One day she is minding her own business when he saunters casually back into her life and decides that he has no intention of leaving. She loves him, yet she hates him. He loves her, yet he feels undeserving of her after ditching her at the altar and trying to keep a lid on the demons of his past. He pulls out all the stops in his effort to get her back. The story will have you hooked, wondering what other curveballs the writer will throw and she has plenty. Busisekile’s imagination is unparalleled and her research is on point making the story so real.

With recollections of war, weapons smuggling, intrigue, hot erotic encounters as well as a fatal sibling rivalry, this story set mainly in rural eSwatini will keep you up late as you try to find out whether Nomaswazi and her man eventually make it down the aisle and get their happily ever after.