From the vibrant energy of Kigali, where community spirit thrives, I’ve also come to appreciate the profound importance of individual strength and self-acceptance. It strikes me that while connection is vital, our truest sense of belonging begins within ourselves. Today, let’s explore the transformative power of self-love, the strength of setting boundaries, and the liberation that comes from no longer seeking external validation.
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How often do we find ourselves contorting to fit into someone else’s mould? We might dim our own light to avoid outshining others, silence our opinions to maintain harmony, or people-please to earn a fleeting sense of acceptance. We become chameleons, adapting to our surroundings, often at the expense of our own authentic selves. But what if we told you that you don’t need permission to be exactly who you are? What if you could shed the heavy cloak of people-pleasing and step into the radiant truth of your being?
The Foundation: Cultivating Self-Love
It all starts with self-love. This isn’t about arrogance or vanity; it’s about treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and understanding you would offer a dear friend. It’s acknowledging your worth, celebrating your strengths, and accepting your imperfections as integral parts of what makes you uniquely you. When you cultivate self-love, external validation loses its grip. You no longer need others to tell you that you are enough because you already know it deep within your soul. This inner knowing becomes your anchor, grounding you amidst the shifting tides of external opinions.
The Shield: Setting Healthy Boundaries
Self-love naturally leads to the establishment of healthy boundaries. Boundaries are not walls built out of fear; they are loving lines we draw to protect our energy, time, and emotional well-being. They communicate to others how we expect to be treated and what we are willing and unwilling to accept. Saying “no” can feel daunting, especially when we’re accustomed to prioritizing the needs of others. But learning to set boundaries is an act of self-respect. It allows us to conserve our energy for what truly matters and prevents us from becoming resentful or burnt out from constantly overextending ourselves. In the warm spirit of community I’ve experienced here in Kigali, I’ve also witnessed the inherent respect that comes from clearly defined expectations.
The Freedom: Releasing the Need for Validation
The ultimate liberation comes when we release the need for external validation. When our self-worth isn’t dependent on the approval of others, we are free to make choices aligned with our own values and desires rather than constantly seeking applause. Imagine the energy you’ll reclaim when you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Imagine the creative spark that ignites when you’re no longer afraid of judgment. Imagine the joy that blossoms when you pursue your passions without seeking permission.
Creating a Life of Joy, Peace, and Fulfillment Freeing yourself from the burden of people-pleasing and playing small isn’t selfish; it’s self-preservation. It allows you to:
Embrace Your Authenticity: You can finally be your true self, without filters or pretenses, attracting genuine connections rather than superficial approval.
Pursue Your Passions: You’re no longer held back by fear of judgment or the need for external permission to follow your dreams.
Prioritize Your Well-being: You have the space and energy to nurture your physical, emotional, and mental health.
Build Meaningful Relationships: Your connections are based on genuine connection and mutual respect, not on a need to please or be liked.
Experience True Joy and Peace: Living in alignment with your authentic self brings a deep sense of contentment and inner peace that external validation can never provide.
From the bustling markets to the serene hills of Rwanda, I’ve learned that true strength lies in knowing and accepting yourself. You are inherently worthy, valuable, and deserving of a life filled with joy, peace, and fulfillment. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to exist fully and authentically. So, take a deep breath, embrace your unique brilliance, set your loving boundaries, and step into the beautiful, expansive life that awaits you. You are enough, just as you are.
In the ancient wisdom traditions, the concepts of creation, pleasure, and life force are inextricably linked. This life force, often referred to as sexual energy, is far more than just a physical drive. It’s a powerful, primal current that flows through us all, and nowhere is this energy more potent than in the sacral chakra. Located just below the navel, the sacral chakra, or Svadhisthana, is the energetic center of creativity, passion, and emotion. It is the seat of our innermost desires and the wellspring from which our creative “juices” flow. When this energy center is vibrant and balanced, we experience life with a sense of joy, fluidity, and creative spontaneity. We feel inspired, motivated, and ready to bring our ideas to life.
But what happens when this energy is blocked or stagnant? We might feel a lack of inspiration, a sense of creative block, or even a deep-seated feeling of emotional flatness. Healing and balancing the sacral chakra is not about suppressing this energy, but about learning to harness and direct it consciously. It’s about releasing old emotional wounds, embracing our sensuality, and allowing this powerful creative current to flow freely once again.
The Napoleon Hill Connection: Semen Retention and the Path to Wealth
One of the most fascinating perspectives on this topic comes from the legendary success philosopher, Napoleon Hill. In his seminal work, Think and Grow Rich, Hill dedicates an entire chapter to the concept of “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation.” He argues that the energy associated with the sexual impulse is the most powerful creative force in human beings.
Hill believed that the “transmutation” of this energy—the process of channeling it away from purely physical expression and into other endeavors—was a key factor in the success of many great men. He specifically highlighted the practice of semen retention in men as a way to conserve this potent life force. Rather than expending it, men could redirect this immense creative power towards their goals, whether that be building a business, creating a masterpiece, or generating wealth.
Hill’s teachings suggest that this redirected sexual energy provides a unique kind of drive and persistence. It’s an inner fire that fuels ambition and creativity, helping individuals to overcome obstacles and maintain an unwavering focus on their purpose. It’s a powerful reminder that our creative and reproductive forces are fundamentally linked to our ability to “create” success in all aspects of our lives.
How to Enhance and Channel Your Creative Energy
So, how can we consciously work with this powerful sexual energy to facilitate creativity and abundance?
Mindful Movement: Practices like yoga, dance, and Qigong are excellent ways to get the energy flowing in the sacral region. Hip-opening poses in yoga, for example, can help release stored emotions and create a sense of spaciousness.
Creative Expression: Engaging in any form of creative activity—be it painting, writing, playing music, or even cooking—is a direct way to channel this energy. Don’t worry about the outcome; the process itself is the point.
Visualization and Intention: Spend time visualizing your creative projects coming to life. As you feel the passion and excitement, imagine that powerful sacral energy flowing directly into your vision, giving it life and momentum.
Conscious Breathing: Deep, intentional breathing can help you connect with your body and circulate energy throughout your system. Try sacral breathing, where you imagine a warm, orange light filling your sacral chakra as you inhale and spreading out through your body as you exhale
For Men: The Power of Transmutation: For those interested in Napoleon Hill’s teachings, exploring the practice of semen retention with a clear intention can be a transformative experience. The key is to consciously redirect this conserved energy towards a specific goal, be it a creative project, a business venture, or personal growth.
Channelling Sexual Energy: The Unique Feminine Perspective
Picture Courtesy of Pinterest
The connection manifests uniquely in women due to their specific biological and energetic cycles. Just as in men, this energy is deeply rooted in the sacral chakra, the center of creativity, pleasure, and emotional flow. However, for women, this connection is often experienced in concert with the ebbs and flows of their menstrual cycle and the feminine principle of creation. Here’s a look at how sexual activity and energy fuel creativity in women:
The Hormonal Link: Ovulation and Creativity Research has shown a fascinating link between a woman’s menstrual cycle and her creative output. During ovulation, when a woman is most fertile, there’s a surge in hormones like estrogen. This hormonal boost is associated with increased energy, enhanced mood, and heightened cognitive functions—all of which are excellent for creative work. Studies have even found that women tend to have their most original and novel ideas during this phase. This suggests an evolutionary connection, where creativity may have been a sexually selected trait, serving as a signal of a woman’s reproductive fitness.
The Power of the Sacral Chakra From a spiritual and energetic perspective, the sacral chakra’s association with the “divine feminine” is key. The sacral chakra governs the womb, the ultimate creative center where life is conceived. This principle of creation extends beyond procreation to encompass all forms of creativity. When a woman’s sacral chakra is balanced and unblocked, she can tap into her “feminine code superpowers”—her intuition, emotional depth, and ability to manifest her desires. This is about embracing the feminine principle of “receiving” and “nurturing” ideas, allowing for an incubation period before a creative project is brought to life.
The Neurochemical Connection: Dopamine and Flow States Both sexual arousal and creative flow states trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. This “pleasure and reward” neurotransmitter creates the motivation and excitement that drive both experiences. The brain doesn’t necessarily distinguish between the two, rewarding the pursuit of both sexual and creative expression with similar feelings of satisfaction. This shared neurochemical pathway explains why a woman who is sexually fulfilled and connected to her sensuality may also feel more motivated and inspired in her creative endeavors.
Transmutation and Conscious Channeling Similar to men, women can also practice sexual transmutation to channel their sexual energy into creative projects. This doesn’t necessarily mean abstinence, but rather consciously redirecting the potent energy of desire and pleasure. It involves acknowledging and harnessing this powerful life force and directing it with intention toward a specific goal. This can be done through practices like visualization, where a woman imagines her creative goal coming to life during moments of sexual energy buildup or even during climax.
Vulnerability and Emotional Openness Both great sex and great creativity require a profound sense of vulnerability. Sexual intimacy demands a dropping of defenses and a willingness to be present and authentic. This same emotional openness is essential for creative work, as it allows for genuine self-expression and the creation of something truly meaningful. By embracing her sensuality and emotional landscape, a woman can cultivate the very same vulnerability needed to access her deepest creative wellspring. In essence, for women, sexual energy is not just a physical drive; it is a cyclical, powerful, and deeply emotional creative force that, when honored and consciously channeled, can be a profound source of inspiration, abundance, and authentic self-expression.
Our sexual energy is a sacred and powerful gift. It is the very essence of life and creation. By understanding its connection to our sacral chakra and our creative potential, we can learn to heal, balance, and consciously channel this incredible force. Whether you’re an artist, an entrepreneur, or simply a human being seeking to live a more vibrant and purposeful life, embracing this inner fire is the key to unlocking your true creative power and building the life you’ve always envisioned.
Thread by @NomaDzino: So I jumped onto the ‘learning new skills’ bandwagon and signed up for MasterClass. It’s not cheap – R250/ month, R3000year. I picked Ru Paul & I was blown away. So what can a drag queen teach us about self-love, authenticity an…
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I attended the recently introduced African Contemporary Service at Northrand Methodist Church today. With hymns and choruses sung in IsiXhosa and SeSotho, there’s nothing like worship in African languages. We worshippers are never at a loss, as long as there is music and the Wesleyan Methodist Church is one of the most musical of congregations.
The sermon was an amazing God moment for me, having recently assumed a more senior leadership position. Titled the Marks of a Christian Leader, it was to celebrate the induction into leadership of oMama bo Manyano, the Women’s Fellowship. The ladies were resplendent in their red, white and black uniforms, taking the oath of office to serve in the Executive Committee. Rev. Mntambo was in his element, effortlessly switching from IsiXhosa, to IsiZulu then SeSotho and mixing it with English. He exhorted the ladies to lead like Jesus Christ.
Marks of a Christian Leader
Firstly a leader must build a team, a group of people working together for a common purpose. A leader takes responsibility for every member of the team. After calling the disciples, Jesus was committed to their welfare. In John 17, he prayed for them. You must pray for your team members if you are a Christian leader.
It’s easy to lead with your title, if you have the position and authority. However, it’s not easy to lead by character. People will obey a title but they will follow a character. A leader should be loving, humble, kind and gracious for people to follow. When you lead by title, people will do the work when you are there and stop when you are not there. When people don’t follow you, they speak ill of you when you aren’t there. Lead by character not by title.
When the team members are expected to give 100%, a leader gives 110%. A leader must inspire their followers. The word inspiration comes from the same root word as that of spirit. As a leader you must breathe into people, your life, your character and influence. A leader is one who can show the way to others. If you don’t know the way, find the way. Depend on Jesus, He knows the way, because He is the way, the truth and the life. One shows the way he or she has walked. If it’s uncharted territory, he or she must move forward into the unknown with confidence. Focus on God who has called you and not the situation or other distractions in the environment.
Leadership and Perfection
Leaders are not perfect. Take the example of David, King of Israel who committed adultery, then plotted to have the woman’s husband killed. However God did not remove him from leadership. Paul, a sinner and a zealot who persecuted and arrested Christians was called by God, and became the greatest apostle. Peter, his life was a comedy of errors, saying and doing what was inappropriate all the time. On the mountain when Jesus was praying, he wanted to stay in the glory of God and suggested building 3 shelters, one for Jesus, another for Moses and another for Elijah. When you experience the glory of God, you need to take the glory with you to the valley, to the sick, the lonely, to those that need his love. Don’t keep it for yourself.
What does God require of a Christian Leader?
Firstly, true spirituality. Be filled & controlled by the Holy Spirit. If Jesus depended on the Holy Spirit, who are you not to be? To fill your life with the Holy Spirit you must look upwards like a nestling waiting to be fed. Pray for the Lord to fill you with the Holy Spirit so you may live and lead. Secondly, be humble. Leaders must serve. The greatest shall be the least. God will elevate you. When God calls you to lead, no one can stop you.
What are the Marks of a False Leader?
A false leader joins a group for personal gain. He or she seeks a position for himself or herself. A false leader wants to occupy all positions and doesn’t want anyone else at the top. He or she uses other people as stepping stones to take him or herself to the top. Such leaders causes conflict within the team, and are constantly finding fault with other people.
A True Leader
A true leader led by the Spirit knows how others are feeling. He or she communicates with the people. They do not let problems simmer. If you see a problem deal with it kindly & graciously. A true leader asks what is wrong, not who is wrong. When you blame people for mistakes, your organisation does not grow. True leaders serve, like Jesus, who washed his disciples’ feet. He does not expect to be served. Lead by character and not title so people can follow you.
My favourite poem Nikki Giovanni called Hot Chocolate starts with the words: ‘This is not a Poem…’ So to speak of the Abantu Book Festival one would say:
This is not a Book Fair
It’s an experience.
Not just a meeting place
For writers and buyers
But an intersection
Of ideas, values and perspectives
Of what it means
To be a man, a woman,
Or in-between
Every second and every inch of space
Ours to express ourselves
Unapologetically African
No fucks given
No offence taken
Consciously intellectual
No ‘woke woke’rhetoric here
Only honest conversations
Agree or disagree
We sit at the feet of experience
Yet learn from youth
A happy place
Where colleagues and contemporaries
Become friends
And friends reconnect with the joy
Of long-lost siblings
A safe space
where everyone acknowledges,
understands and accepts
Your particular brand of madness.
And realises its genius.
A place of reflection
Of introspection
A place of power
A place of resistance
The legendary township of Soweto,
Where Apartheid received
Its most deadly wounds
In this place
Babylon’s whiteness
Must Fall.
A stone’s throw from
That sacred place called Kliptown
In this place
We declare that:
The People Shall Write
The People Shall Read
The People Shall Learn and
The Learned People Shall Govern
Long Live the People’s Book Festival
Long Live!
Long Live the Spirit of Ubuntu!
Long Live!
Amandla!
Awethu!
Imfundo!
Eyethu!
Inkululeko yaBantu!
Mayibuye!
This song from the Hugh Masekela Tribute Concert keeps ringing in my head. It’s called Koboyi, a song sung to a child in Siswati. There are two versions on Apple Music. The lyrics are not so sweet though.
Koboyi Koboyi (Koboyi is the name of the child)
Ye Koboyi
Koboyi Koboyi
Ye Koboyi
Unyok’ uyephi (where is your mother?)
Ye Koboyi
Uyokujuma (she’s taking the young men by surprise)
Ye Koboyi
Emajarheni
Ye Koboyi
Uta buya nesisu (she’ll come back pregnant)
Ye Koboyi
Atal’umntwana (she’ll give birth to a child)
Ye Koboyi
Ambek’etsheni (and put him on a rock)
Ye Koboyi
Atyiwe timpetfu (and he’ll be eaten by maggots)
Ye Koboyi
Koboyi Koboyi
Ye Koboyi
Koboyi Koboyi
Ye Koboyi
Ngalala Phansi
Ngalala Phansi was originally sung by Miriam Makeba who learnt it from her mother Nomkomandelo Christina Jele, a traditional healer known as isangoma. It tells of a person who is ill but laments that people are rejoicing at her illness. The song is on Miriam Makeba’s album Sangoma.
Scripture Reading Matthew 23:1-12
“Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others. “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Jesus talks about the Pharisees and their strict observance of religion. How did they became this way. To understand them better, we need to go back in time.
The Jews were a people set apart with to their belief in one God and their observance of the law. God gave Moses the Law, who gave it to Joshua, who gave it to the elders, the elders gave it to the prophets and it was passed down by the priests to pthe Pharisees who gave it to the people. Therefore they stood in the place of Moses as teachers of the law.
The law was first written in the time of David and Solomon from about 1000 BC. The 10 tribes broke away from the northern kingdom of Samaria during the time of King Rehoboam, Solomon’s son. Only tribes of Judah and Benjamin remained in the Southern Kingdom. The Northern kingdom was invaded by Assyria, (Sargon and Sennacherib) and the people carried off into exile in 740 BC. The Southern kingdom was invaded by the Babylonianians in 604 -586 BC. After this, the priests studied and reinterpreted the law of Moses in the light of the disaster and wrote the books of Deuteronomy and Leviticus, to ensure that people kept the law of the Lord, so that this disaster may never come upon them. There was the return from Exile in 450BC and the dedication of the Law to ensure that people understood and kept the law.
The Pharisees took the Study of the law to a whole new level, particularly after, when Antiochus Epiphanes tried to destroy the Jewish religion in 175BC by introducing the Greek religion. He introduced the sacrifice of pigs and set up an idol of Zeus in the temple. This was what was called the abomination that causes desolation.
In response to this, the Pharisees emphasized keeping themselves separate and wrote down and obeyed the letter of the law in order to preserve it. That is how they became purists, regarding the law.
Main Body
William Barclay writes this of the Pharisees: ‘The Pharisees then were two things. First, they were dedicated legalists; religion to them was the observance of every detail of the Law. But second–and this is never to be forgotten–they were men in desperate earnest about their religion, for no one would have accepted the impossibly demanding task of living a life like that unless he had been in the most deadly earnest. They could, therefore, develop at one and the same time all the faults of legalism and all the virtues of complete self-dedication. A Pharisee might either be a desiccated or arrogant legalist, or a man of burning devotion to God.’ http://www.studylight.com
According to William Barclay, The Talmud described seven kinds of Pharisees:
There was the Shoulder Pharisee. He was meticulous in his observance of the Law; but he wore his good deeds upon his shoulder. He was out for a reputation for purity and goodness. True, he obeyed the Law, but he did so in order to be seen of men.
There was the Wait-a-little Pharisee. He was the Pharisee who could always produce an entirely valid excuse for putting off a good deed. He professed the creed of the strictest Pharisees but he could always find an excuse for allowing practice to lag behind. He spoke, but he did not do.
There was the Bruised or Bleeding Pharisee. The Talmud speaks of the plague of self-afflicting Pharisees. These Pharisees received their name for this reason. Women had a very low status in Palestine. No really strict orthodox teacher would be seen talking to a woman in public, even if that woman was his own wife or sister. These Pharisees went even further; they would not even allow themselves to look at a woman on the street. In order to avoid doing so they would shut their eyes, and so bump into walls and buildings and obstructions. They thus bruised and wounded themselves, and their wounds and bruises gained them a special reputation for exceeding piety.
There was the Pharisee who was variously described as the Pestle and Mortar Pharisee, or the Hump-backed Pharisee, or the Tumbling Pharisee. Such men walked in such ostentatious humility that they were bent like a pestle in a mortar or like a hunch-back. They were so humble that they would not even lift their feet from the ground and so tripped over every obstruction they met. Their humility was a self-advertising ostentation.
There was the Ever-reckoning or Compounding Pharisee. This kind of Pharisee was for ever reckoning up his good deeds; he was for ever striking a balance sheet between himself and God, and he believed that every good deed he did put God a little further in his debt. To him religion was always to be reckoned in terms of a profit and loss account.
There was the Timid or Fearing Pharisee. He was always in dread of divine punishment. He was, therefore, always cleansing the outside of the cup and the platter, so that he might seem to be good. He saw religion in terms of judgment and life in terms of a terror-stricken evasion of this judgment.
Finally, there was the God-fearing Pharisee; he was the Pharisee who really and truly loved God and who found his delight in obedience to the Law of God, however difficult that it might be. Of the seven, six were all about the show, only one truly delighted in God’s law and in obedience.
Leadership is a form of service. The purpose of a leader is to provide a vision, guidance, direction, to motivate and encourage people to do great things and be great.
The Pharisees were leaders in Israel. They played a every important role, to bring people closer to God, through teaching them to obey the law as an act of love for God. They failed, because their leadership was self-serving. Matthew 15:8-9 says, ‘these people honour me with their lips but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’ Jesus condemned them, because their obedience to the law was not out of love for God, for the most part.
Jesus deplores the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. The word hypocrite comes from a Greek word: hupocrites which means to wear a mask and play a role. It was all an act, all for show. So he says do as they say, i.e. Obey the law, but, not as they do, i.e. to make a great show of their obedience. Jesus encourages the disciples to be humble and serve each other. He illustrates this by washing their feet. He led by example, and performed miracles and taught the word out of love for God, not to be seen by men. He continued in his service unto death, even when his disciples had abandoned him. He was genuine, not playing a role.
There is a lot of talk about leadership these days. But there is a growing recognition of effective leadership as being a role that serves a purpose. If we bring it back to our country, we lack leadership in business and in politics and even in some churches, because the actions of the leadership are self -serving. We have leaders who:
o Want to be rich and live lavishly at all costs
o Are prepared to subvert justice and bend the law in pursuit of power and wealth to keep their ill-gotten gains,
o Persecute those who speak out against them
o Love the limelight, always posting on social media
o They spout ideology, anti-crime, anti-corruption, etc. Lots of talk, no action, so they do not practice what they preach.
King Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the Sun. Even in Old Testament times, priests were expected to serve God and their to lead the people. The Lord killed both of Eli’s sons Hophni and Phineas because they abused their positions as priests. When Eli died, he was replaced by Samuel. Samuel was tireless in his service.
What God desires is obedience, not sacrifice (1 Samuel 15.22) and service to others out of love. Do nothing out of selfish ambition. Consider others better than yourself (Philippians 2.3)
Conclusion
True leadership is an act of service, to God and to Men. If you are in a position of leadership, ask yourself whom are you serving?
If you want people to follow you, you must serve them, Jesus does so much for people. As a result huge crowds followed him. How does your leadership serve the purpose of God. How does it serve those whom you lead? I encourage all of us to model our leadership according to the pattern of Jesus Christ and to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us . Let us pray for all our leaders to be authentic and humble, to have a sevant’s heart and a teachable spirit, subject to the authority of God. Only then can we live in peace and prosperity in harmony with God and with each other.
Black Magic Woman.
Watch her move.
See her slay.
Spinning her sorcery,
Swaying her hips.
A glance of her eyes
Draws you in.
You’re powerless,
Spellbound.
Sparks fly
From the halo of fire,
That dances around her.
You’re tangled now,
In the web she weaves
With your desire.
She tempts you,
Tests you,
Brings you to your knees.
Black Magic Woman.
Your longing won’t let her pass.
I attended the recently introduced African Contemporary Service at Northrand Methodist Church today. With hymns and choruses sung in IsiXhosa and SeSotho, there’s nothing like worship in African languages. We worshippers are never at a loss, as long as there is music and the Wesleyan Methodist Church is one of the most musical of congregations.
PrincessPearlManzini 
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