Tag Archives: Love

Book Review: The Y in Your Man is Silent Book 1; Book 2 by Yvonne Maphosa

Posted on by under Book, Culture, Relationships

By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

“He’s not your man, he’s OUR man.” That is the essence of the story in these two books. Whether she’s called the mistress, the side-chick or side dish, the other woman has many names in every language. This story is told from her point of view. An innocent, nerdy engineering student named Lastborn Fierce Nkomo from Zimbabwe falls for the charm of a handsome, dashing Ghanaian professor named Elikplim who’s a few years older than her. He’s a caring, sensitive man, a worthy contender in the Boyfriend Olympics, that is until he marries someone else. Despite that, the epic cross country love affair set in Cape Town and Johannesburg continues with Akon’s music as their soundtrack.

Just when you think you know what happens next, the author literally pulls the rug from under the feet of your mind and sends you tumbling as the couple lurch from one disaster to another, major and minor. Unlike most romantic dramas, in fact drama doesn’t even begin to describe it, the author unapologetically refuses to let them to catch a break. Rolling in money from his engineering practice with his best friend and partner in crime at every level called Lumka, Elik is the ultimate blesser. A generous man, not only with his money, he’s also extremely liberal with his umm… candy cane. There was so much cheating going on, even the players were getting played, I felt like I needed therapy after Book 1 and halfway through Book 2. I watched Star Wars then finished the story.

The story gives the other woman’s perspective of the extra-marital affair. Komla, the wife, favoured by the family, is not entirely innocent and makes a few fatal mistakes in her desperate quest to save her marriage. Betrayed repeatedly by Elik, physically and emotionally abused in turn by his wife, her sister and his other relatives; Fierce, named after a freedom fighter and true to her name, fights her wiser, more sensible self, her family, her friends and Elik’s wife and family to hold onto her love for him, repeatedly forgiving him and taking him back. She experiences a dramatic and cruel rejection by her own family, just as she is preparing to make things right by finally becoming an honest woman. The journey to redemption is equally arduous as the couple try to work out why and how their individual messes come together to create the hot mess that is their relationship.

With progressively steamy scenes as the story goes on, with break-up sex, make-up sex, revenge sex, theatrical break-ups and equally sudden make-ups, Fierce and her ‘Ghana Man’ as Fierce’s Aunt calls him, will take you on an emotional rollercoaster ride. The ending is no less dramatic. A third book is definitely in order otherwise the suspense will kill anyone who dares to read both books.

As a self-published work, there is a lot of artistic license, so there is phrasing that would cause the grammar and syntax Nazis to take umbrage. Otherwise it’s a gripping and unforgettable read which needs its own Netflix series. I hope the universe is listening.

No Rules – Available on Amazon

Posted on by under Book, Crushes, Culture, Relationships

This is a cross-cultural love story of two millennials set in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is available on Amazon under Women’s Fiction. To read a sample and purchase, go to https://www.amazon.com/kindle/dp/B071NY9YXC/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_eos_detail

You can check out my other posts on this blog and visit my FaceBook Page at https://www.facebook.com/lamourafricaine/

This is my first self-published novel, under the my nom de plume Pearl Deyi. Deyi is one of the family names of our clan, oManzini aba kwaZungu and also has letters from my surname.

A Black Girl’s Song

Posted on by under Culture, Feminism, Relationships

By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

Colour Me Yellow: Searching For My Family Truth, the autobiography by Thuli Nhlapo is a compelling read. For me, an autobiography is someone else’s story. Thuli’s book is more than that. It touched me deeply because it is as much my story as it is that of many other people. The themes of Thuli’s story resonates with the story of my own family: of family secrets; the pain of being an outsider; of being different; the liberation of discovery and the realization that you have always known deep down, that which everyone around you is determined to deny. The issue of her complexion dominates the story, a reverse form of the colourism that we experience today, which glorifies light skin as a form of proximity to whiteness. There’s also the refusal by her family to acknowledge the distant past, which causes a painful prolonged and unnecessary struggle for her to integrate her intense spiritual gifts into her life.

This is a story of an African family, like many others, that keep a secret to keep them together. For the secret is like the one ring that binds them all* . It keeps the family whole, forcing everyone to maintain the façade of normalcy. What is a ‘normal’ family? Well for a start, a family must have a head. A father. The biological relationship is not a prerequisite, however, that masculine presence and influence is considered to be essential. In a generation where it was inconceivable for a woman to be independent, or to be alone by choice, a woman had to keep a man in her life, at all costs, at no matter how badly he behaved. The secret binds her to him.

Thuli’s mother is strong, yet weak, vulnerable yet invincible, at the same time. This contradiction in character is a necessity. An African mother is not only the neck that must support the head; she is the spine, the back and broad shoulders that must bear the burdens of raising a family; and take the lead in keeping that family’s place in the community. So she must be feminine and flexible enough to accept the patriarchal dictates of the husband and father of the house, yet in his absence: physically, emotionally and financially, she must be strong enough to fend for herself and her children. He like many men, comes strolling in and out of her life at his own convenience, imposing his own opinion of what should happen, regardless of the fact that he is not there to stay. It makes me exceedingly angry: that a man always has a choice and can escape responsibility without facing any consequences; while a woman is stuck with dealing with the effects of his choices for the rest of her life.

It is easy to judge Thuli’s mother for her failings and inadequacies, but as Maya Angelou put it, she did what she knew best, at that time. I believe as a mother herself, Thuli is able to write her mother’s part in the story with tenderness and compassion that comes with wisdom and the understanding that as a parent you don’t have all the answers. The story has excruciating painful episodes of abuse and cruelty that make you want to weep and hold the child that was her. Yet there are moments of tenderness, hope and joy that have you cheering for her, and for those people that, as Tyler Perry puts it, are the points of light in her life . I especially love her portrayal of rural Swati people, their simplicity, peaceful attitude and joy, something many people from more militant and aggressive societies would not understand.

You come to understand why her life turned out in the manner that it did: with her choices and the reactions of the people in her life. There are moments of divine intervention when she receives help at a time when she needs it most. She gets an education, attains professional success and acquires the car, the townhouse and the trappings of the Johannesburg yuppie lifestyle. Finally there is the journey that leads her to the truth, the unfolding of and her acceptance of who she is. It is a story much like the clumsy emergence of a butterfly from its cocoon, a painful but necessary process for it to strengthen its wings so it can fly.

Ntozake Shange, in her choreopoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf writes:

‘Somebody/anybody

sing a black girl’s song

bring her out

to know herself

to know you

but sing her rhythms

carin/ struggle/ hard times

sing her song of life

she’s been dead so long

closed in silence so long

she doesn’t know the sound

of her own voice

her infinite beauty’

For herself, her mother, our mothers and all the women in her family and other families caught in the matrix of African traditionalist patriarchy and toxic family secrecy, Thuli Nhlapo has done just that. She has sung our song.

* A line of dialogue from Lord Of The Rings, a film adaptation of The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Why Does God Not Hear Our Prayers For Our Country?

Posted on by under Culture, Leadership, Relationships, Sermons, Uncategorized

By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

When I read about the recent incident at St John’s College, in Harare, Zimbabwe, I was saddened and appalled. Sad because this is a Christian school where ostensibly Christian parents, in blind ignorance and prejudice not only chose to end a man’s career, but put the critical preparation of A-Level exam students in jeopardy.

The deputy headmaster was under threat of having his sexuality revealed to the whole world by the reporter of the biggest daily newspaper in the country. This is in a homophobic nation where homosexual acts are punishable with a jail sentence. When he revealed his sexual orientation to the students and teachers at assembly, there was an uproar by elements of the staunchly conservative professedly Christian parent body. He was forced to resign after receiving death threats.

The school badge has a sheep and the motto is Dominus Pastor, meaning the Lord is my Shepherd. Symbols are powerful. They are tell the world that this is a school with Christian values. The Good Shepherd is Jesus Christ in Psalm 23. Jesus preached and modeled love, service and above all compassion. Parents agree to uphold these Christian values when they apply for admission of their children to the school. It is appalling that in 2018, in an technologically advanced global society, learned and wealthy people, who should know better, behave like this in a professedly Christian country.

Why was he forced to resign? The parents were aghast that they had a homosexual teacher at the school all this time. Out of ignorance many people associate homosexuality with paedophilia. There have been no reports of sexual abuse at the school. This is unlike the case of Parktown Boys High in Johannesburg, South Africa where a waterpolo coach was convicted of over a hundred counts of sexual abuse of students. The reaction suggests a collective fear that he would influence their sons into becoming cross-dressing, make-up wearing, heavily perfumed Nancy-boys. This is totally irrational, he had been there for years and there was no problem. However, Zimbabwe is a patriarchal society, so there is zero tolerance of views or activities that fall outside the heterosexual masculine supremacist norm.

Surely the parents had a right to object? Yes by all means. But was their objection based on facts and evidence of abuse? Or was it based on an unfounded fear based on the collective ignorance about and suspicion of homosexuality as an orientation and a lifestyle choice. My view is that their objection was based on the latter.

In terms of individual responsibility, was it necessary for the reporter to even ‘out’ the man? After all he had been living what appears to have been a respectable life, exercising his personal relationship choice without bothering anyone? One would think that corruption, the cholera outbreak, the cash crunch, the deteriorating economic conditions and post-election political shenanigans are more news-worthy stories of public interest. The fact that the teacher in question is white, teaching at an expensive elite private school made this an opportunity too good to pass up. What about the other more high profile black politicians and business people who are rumored to be closet homosexuals or those who engage in homosexual transactional sex for business deals? What about those that are bi-sexual, yet engage their proclivity for the forbidden on the down low? Ironically some of these men and their wives may well have been among the vociferous mob that forced the man to resign.

We pray daily for God to deliver our nation from bloodshed, injustice, oppression and poverty. We have worn ourselves out praying and claiming the promises of Chronicles:

“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭7:14‬ ‭.

We have fasted, cried and prayed, begging God saying

“Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”

Psalm‬ ‭10:1‬ ‭

And what is God’s answer?

““Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭58:6-10‬ ‭

This is God’s Word to the prophet Isaiah in Chapter 58 says what he requires of true fasting. True fasting that brings the answer to our prayers for a better world. That true fasting begins with you and me. What are the choices that we make daily between what is wrong and what is right that make this world what it is today? You may wonder what impact your choices have as an individual. A society is made up of individuals whose character and actions collectively influence the behavior of the group. So the world we live in today is a result of the sum of choices made by many individuals today.

We as Christians cannot pray to a loving and just God to deliver our nation from injustice when we ourselves are unjust and oppressive to one another. We steal from the public purse; murder our enemies; do not pay our bills; deprive workers of their just wages; commit adultery; sexually abuse children; beat our wives; rob our employers and bribe public officials. We gossip, slander and malign people’s characters for sport. Then on a Sunday, we praise God with the same tongue that tells lies and give the church as offerings, money that has been swindled or stolen from others, while denying help to our families when they need it. We still visit traditional healers in the dead of night seeking charms for success and curses for our enemies. We go to the graves of our loved ones to cast spells of doom on our families. We follow the heretic teachings of false prophets who tell us what we want to hear, but do not preach salvation, love or mercy. What kind of people are we? Do we deserve this mercy that we cry out for? Why should the Lord as our Shepherd come to our rescue when we behave like wolves preying on the innocent and vulnerable in our society?

The book of James, chapter 3:11 the writer asks : “Can salt water and fresh water flow from the same spring? ” The answer is no. Enough of the self-deception. Let us stop pretending that our souls are wells of living water when in reality they are contaminated and salty to an extent that, the people drinking from them become sick and are thirstier than ever. We must stop praising God with our mouths when our hearts are far from him. If we really want God to deliver us, we have to stop: being selfish; repent of our evil deeds; and we must show love and compassion to other people. Only then will God hear from heaven and turn and heal our land.

Perfect Match

Posted on by under No Rules, Relationships

By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei


Smart girls make dumb choices. I’ve made a few of my own. Ladies hear this:

Your perfect match does not:

1. Shine on your shine. We know what that’s about. He has to have the spotlight ALL THE TIME. *eyes rolling*

2. Disrespect his mother, his sister or any female member of his family. He is courteous, even under provocation. He walks away rather than escalate a fight.

3. Talk badly about you behind your back, to ANYONE, especially the OTHER WOMAN. And if you are the other woman, he is not your perfect match either.

4. Disrespect you in front of the family. Especially HIS family. Nor does he embarrass you in front of other people, random strangers in particular.

5. Keep you waiting. You’re dressed up, dolled up, it’s 8pm, he’s a no show and he hasn’t called. NO, that is not the time to cry, change, then lie on the couch with a tub of ice-cream. You grab your purse, take an UBER ride and you hit the club, with or without him. Take a girlfriend if you can’t do it alone. If you meet him there, act like you don’t know him. He has already proven that he is not worthy of you. Keep it moving.

6. Ditch you for his friends, see point 5 above.

7. Push, shove, slap or kick you. In fact that should be point no. 1.

8. Start drooling over other women in your presence. However hot, he’s feeling about that girl in the hotpants, low cut blouse, whatever, he keeps it to himself ALWAYS. In fact if he’s the one, she could be stark naked and he won’t even see it.

9. He’s generous and responsible with his money. He doesn’t “forget” his wallet. He pays his bills on time and doesn’t spend every cent of his money, or yours for that matter.

10. He keeps his word. See point 5 above. Life happens, but he is civil, maintains healthy boundaries with his ex- girlfriend, ex-wife and he takes care of his children. And if he can’t make it, he calls.

Ladies, I pray you attract The One. That you will know that he’s the one and there is no doubt in his mind either, that you’re the one for him.

And gentlemen, if you do not do any of these things, then You’re the Man! I know your soul mate, your perfect match is out there. I pray that she recognises the good man that you are,  when you meet.

Black Magic Woman

Posted on by under Crushes, Inspiration

img_1172

Black Magic Woman.
Watch her move.
See her slay.
Spinning her sorcery,
Swaying her hips.

A glance of her eyes
Draws you in.
You’re powerless,
Spellbound.
Sparks fly
From the halo of fire,
That dances around her.

You’re tangled now,
In the web she weaves
With your desire.
She tempts you,
Tests you,
Brings you to your knees.
Black Magic Woman.
Your longing won’t let her pass.

©️ Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

No Rules: Chapter 4 My Heart Crowned Him King

Posted on by under No Rules

Head over heels,

Still falling,

Far still from hitting,

Rock bottom.

Gravity’s nothing

Compared to this feeling.

My mind appeals,

Raging, warning

Alarm bells ringing

This can’t be real.

His hands on my skin,

My fevered response within.

I’m mesmerized, paralyzed and hypnotised.

I want to walk, run and fly

All at the same time,

From the agony, ecstasy

The relentless intensity.

Held captive by those eyes.

With one look, my heart crowned him king.

Now my soul has only this song to sing.

Painting attributed to Samuel Ikenna Kong

Why Is It So Hard To Find Love In This Present Generation? 

Posted on by under Crushes, Relationships

By Nomathemba Pearl Dzinotyiwei

@BlueBlood_elia tweeted that line this week. We weighed in with our opinions,  some of them were profound while others were flippant.  I have many single women friends and I ask myself the same question sometimes. A single friend of mine recently posted on Facebook, how she just wanted a man “who would show up and stay”. I thought this was just a women’s issue until  @DirectorSolomon tweeted the following:


The responses ranged from hilarious to heart-breaking. My response to him was that this kind of stuff makes men skittish (nervously shy away from commitment) and for every girl that cheats on a guy there are dozens of single women who are searching, sometimes desperately, for a man to love them.

It is not easy to find love, not just in this one, but in every generation. My parents have been married for over 40 years and even they have close friends who never got married or went through multiple divorces. This is not a new problem, but it’s a sad state of affairs.

Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist says we are “wired” for love, i.e. drama, stress and heartbreak etc. are not a natural state of affairs and they literally change our brain chemistry. Human beings are made in the image of God and God is love. Her approach is both biblical and scientific. Check out her YouTube videos, she’s phenomenal. By the way I’m no expert but I see many people in pain and have experienced some pain of my own in the past from bad choices. Are you in the swamp of despondency when it comes to love? if you are single and searching think about the following issues.

Who Are You and What Do You Attract?

This is the principle of  ‘As within, so without’. Your visible reality is a manifestation of your thoughts. Thoughts can become unconscious and habitual if you hold them long enough. Ok you don’t believe me. Think about it. Your constant thoughts create habits and patterns of decision making that have brought you to this point. Think back to the decisions you made in your last relationship, when it started, why it ended and how it ended. What were you thinking. How would things have been if you had different thoughts about the person. By the way, ending a relationship is not always a bad thing, particularly if it is not good for you.

Consider these questions:

The first question is who are you in the relationship equation? What are your needs? These needs are based on the story you tell yourself when you are on your own. Your story is so very much a part of you, you don’t realise it’s there and it determines your every move. This story is created by habitual thoughts from when we were children and trying to make sense of the world. This background story shows up with you in every situation and causes you to make automatic decisions that determine the outcome of a situation. Are you:

a) Mr. or Miss Right-Now. i.e. not looking for a serious relationship. The background story is most likely because you need a temporary escape from the pain of physical, emotional or sexual abuse and want someone to make you feel attractive and blot out the pain. In this case love and sex are the addictions of choice. This is a typical addict’s profile. Zoleka Mandela’s book When Hope Whispers is an excellent example, where she talks openly about her journey back from addiction. Psychologists have coined a term called limerence, which is the emotional high you get when you are in the early stages of a relationship. This had been investigated and identified as changes to brain chemistry that happen when you are in love. So you can be addicted to love and change partners frequently to feel like that over and over again.

b) Mr. or Miss I’ll-Make-Him or Her-Right-For-Me. This background story is , I’ll change the person into my ideal partner because I’m perfect or I’ve worked so hard to be this person and my partner needs to meet my unremitting standards. Deep down, the story is that I need to control every situation so that I do not get hurt or taken advantage of. Many abusers fit this profile because their abusive behaviour comes from a place of unacknowledged raw pain.

c) Mr or Miss I’ll-Make-Myself-Right-for Him or Her. The background story is, I’ll be whoever my partner wants me to be, because I feel so unworthy and unloveable. I’ll do whatever it takes to have them in my life because deep down I don’t believe that I deserve to be loved. Many victims of abuse fit this profile.

d) Mr or Mrs Married-But-Available? No need to state the obvious. However any of the first three background stories apply. Infidelity is really is not just about sex. Emotional infidelity is just as devastating for the spouses. However for infidelity you need both motive and opportunity. Temptation presents itself based on your background story. James 1.14 says each person is lured and tempted by his or her own desire. And if you have a motive from your background story, e,g. a) ‘I need sex as a temporary relief from my pain or stress ‘, you will find an opportunity to be unfaithful whether it’s your next door neighbour, a colleague or on Oxford Street.

The second question is who are you attracting when you look for Mr or Miss Right? Is it

a); b); c) or d)?
Relationship Arithmetic

Let’s do a little bit of relationship arithmetic, shall we? In my relatively short life, I’ve learnt the following from observation and experience. A mismatch of the four doesn’t work, that’s pretty obvious right? But, a perfect match of any of the four needs does not make for a fulfilling long-term relationship either. A coincidence of wants should make a perfect whole right? No? Why is that?

a+a = one night stand; booty call or ‘friends with benefits’. It’s ok if you both walk away unscathed. Sometimes one person ‘catches feelings’ eventually. Then there is awkwardness or drama if you still bump into each other. Or you have another another hook-up for all the wrong reasons, because you’re lonely, bored or drunk.

b+b = a prison without bars of nagging, manipulation, physical and or emotional abuse. There will be a prison break eventually. I guarantee it. You cannot change a person. A person needs to change by themselves and have really good personal motivation for doing so.

c+c = an illusion, a game of smoke and mirrors. This one ends in tears without fail. That sounds like the lady in @Director Solomon’s tweet. She probably made herself over for them and played the two guys, then picked the first guy who popped the question because she just wanted to get married. That is not genuine love, if she loved her fiancé, she would not have cheated on him until a week before the wedding. For the other guy, it’s like showing up for training every day, not knowing that there are trials in progress or there’s a scout watching.

d+d = a perfect storm. Refer to a+a, only add trauma for your children, depression, the drama of divorce and or suicide or murder to the mix. The truth is someone is always playing the other person  in an extra-marital affair, not just the spouse. Very few extra-marital affairs, studies say only 10% end up in marriage and many of those marriages end in divorce because of a relationship built on a shaky foundation of deceit.

So How Do We Find Love?

We know what doesn’t work. So what does work? Actually, that is the wrong question. The answer is that you don’t search for love. When you do, you will be disappointed because you will invariably look in the wrong places based on your mental programming, the background story. The truth is that there is no formula for finding love. Love finds you. You have to be the person that someone will fall in love with. The real you, the one that you are behind closed doors, when no one is looking.

These are just a few examples of what repels love. If you are bitter, twisted and resentful, that will eventually drive love away. If you are jealous, angry and controlling, you may hide it well but eventually the mask will slip, the person will see the real you and disappear from your life. If you are clingy and desperate because you need the other person to make you happy, then, what you fear most will happen, the person that you live will leave you, because the relationship is too much  work. Being happy is your own responsibility, not that of the other person. What are you willing and able to give? You cannot give what you don’t have. To attract the love, you want, change your background story. Martha Beck’s book Steering by Starlight has great advice. Dr Caroline Leaf and Iyanla Vanzant also have some great Youtube videos on that subject.

Attractive vs Loveable
There is a difference between an attractive person and a loveable person. An attractive person takes care of their external appearance, good skin, a good hairstyle, apparel that suits them, smells great and has the right toys, car, cellphone, handbag etc.  They know what to say, how to flirt, when to stop and when to make a move to get you interested in them. They make a great first impression even without saying a word. A woman’s  reaction to them is: “Damn! He fine! So hot I gotta fan myself” (sic). For guys, well, let me not speak for them.

A loveable person is genuinely interested in the other person. To do that, you have to forget your ego, how you look, sound etc. and focus on the other person. Get to know their heart. Spend more time talking. The club or a party is a great place to meet, but not the best setting for  you to truly get to know someone. Decide whether this is someone you want to spend time with. If they are not, it’s ok, move on, you can still be friendly, or not. It’s your choice.

A loveable person may not generally make a great first impression, but they make a lasting one because they make a connection from the heart. People can tell the difference between someone who is genuinely interested that they can trust with their feelings. The typical reaction to this type is, ” I really like this person, and it’s not just for their looks.”

Here are a couple of suggestions for letting love find you. Don’t limit yourself with pre-conceived ideas about who or what true love looks like, or what he or she does for a living or what car he or she drives. A person can get an education, a better job, buy a car, or buy designer shoes and acquire certain skills. A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15). However a person cannot buy a good heart. They cannot be honest, show up for you and show affection and concern consistently if it is not from the heart.

Make the Circle Bigger

Meet more people, more often, make that circle bigger. Spice up your life. Go places and do different things, things you enjoy and you will meet like-minded people. Don’t keep to the same boring weekend or work routine. We spend to much time with the same circle of people and never create opportunities to meet other people. Or when we do, we find reasons not to get to know them because they are not from our little universe.

Next time you meet someone, talk less, listen more, and listen with genuine interest. You may not make a love connection but you can make a lasting one, which who knows could grow into love, or lead you to the love of your life. Do this often enough and I believe love will find you. Finding love is easy. Keeping it is hard. I’ll save that for my next post. Until then, stay attractive and be loveable.

No Rules: An African Love Story. A Synopsis

Posted on by under Feminism, No Rules, Relationships

This is a an urban contemporary love story between two Millennials: Pelonomi is a South African woman and Jideofor, a Nigerian man. The title ‘No Rules’ reflects how their relationship breaks all the known rules. It raises the question of how people get to know each other and decide on whether a person is ‘the one’.

The story takes you on the roller-coaster ride of their relationship. Despite the riveting attraction, they have an argument the first time they meet, that almost scuttles any possibility of being together. Steve Harvey’s recommended 90 day no-sex rule features here, but long will they be able to resist the explosive chemistry between them?

There are episodes of drama with their exes, a near- death experience and interesting conversations with the couple’s friends and family as they come to terms with this whirlwind love affair. There is the conflict the between global contemporary lifestyle and lingering demands of both Pedi and Igbo tradition and custom.

The story is set in Johannesburg, giving the reader an view of contemporary South African urban life. In the end it’s a heartwarming story of how two unlikely lovers overcome their differences to build a solid relationship and embark on a life together.